Darker Than Sin (BoyxBoy) Book 2

Chapter 4

James

Avery took me home and explained the situation to my papa and dad. They were really worried as to where we were because Harper's house got raided by the cops for drugs after we left. They were angry at me for leaving in the first place... but after hearing what happened, they were more concerned about me. 

They let Avery stay the night because they were afraid I was going to fall into another PTSD attack. When I did have them more often, my papa would stay in the room with me all night and held me as I screamed it all out of my body and cried... but for some reason, he couldn't get me to stop. The visions wouldn't stop. 

When Avery is here they go away. He knows what to do.

We laid on my bed in silence as he ran his fingers up and down my arm in a comforting motion, my head resting on his chest as I listened to his steady heartbeat. He'd occasionally start talking about anything that came to his mind when I'd start shaking again to distract me, like the project in English that was coming up. Anything at all to keep my mind away from it. 

''I guess I really can't go anywhere...'' I whispered to him. He stopped rubbing my arm, letting out a deep sigh as I brought my head up from his chest. He looked at me with a sad look in his eyes before he spoke. 

''You can go places without people that will trigger you, James. I should have just gone to your uncles house with you.'' He told me. I shook my head at his words, placing my head down back on his chest. His heart was beating faster now. 

''Don't blame yourself. She didn't invite me in the first place, you know.'' I mumbled. He scoffed at my words, placing his hand on my arm once more and began running his fingers down in a comforting motion. 

''She lied to me. She didn't invite you because of that prick.'' He said. His voice was deeper now- like he was angry at her. I really didn't want him to get mad at her, to be honest... I mean, she did lie to him about not inviting me. I think right now she needs us more than ever. The way he talked to her didn't sit right with me. 

''She might have not had a choice. We really should go over one day and talk to her about Connor.'' I said to him.

''...Do you miss her?'' He asked me.

Harper was the first person I fell in love with. We dated each other for almost two years- she was everything I could have possibly wanted in a girl. She was goregous, she had a sweet personality, caring and affectionate... but sometimes it was too much. She'd expect me to give all of the affection. She wouldn't want to hold me or kiss me first. I mean, I guess some people are like that... but I didn't really like doing all the work. 

I still loved her though, so I pushed past that. 

She got really demanding after everything happened. Of course, she understood after a while, but it was still really infurating. She'd show up at my house and sit on my bed while I laid there and did nothing and just... yelled. She'd sit there and cry and tell me how much she missed me, that if I loved her I'd get out of that bed. That if I loved her I'd try to get better. If I just TRIED harder I'd just magically get better.

That all I needed was her to get better. Her love. 

My papa finally stopped letting her in the house after a while. 

''I miss the relationship we had before everything happened. I miss who I used to be.'' I admitted.