Cari POV:
"alex what have i done" i said, head in my hands
We were now back in the apartment, Shannon had stormed off and sam, the girl i was on the sofa with had left.
"cari, i'm not gonna defend you this time, you fucked up, and i shouldn't of let it happen" alex responded without making eye contact
i knew this was it. i was losing everyone. i think Alex hates me, or hates herself for not stopping me, and Shannon definitely hates me
"you know cari, everything shannon just said was true. we both fucked up here. i should never of let you bring her home and pretended that i was okay with it. Shannon loves you so much, and you keeping pushing her away, it pains me to say, but i think you went to far this time and i wish i understood why"
Alex left the room and went into her bedroom. She was so angry, i've never seen her like that before. we don't really argue, not like this.
i took myself off to my room too, collapsed onto my bed and cried and cried and cried, until i fell asleep.
I had completely lost shannon forever now, and i only have myself to blame
...
I fell asleep at 6pm, meaning. woke up in the middle of the night, starving, so i made my way to the kitchen.
I could feel that my face was still red and swollen from the tears.
"fucking great" the fridge was empty.
I slammed it shut, grabbed my keys and left. i had no where to go, so i just drove. i was alone.
I drove for around 30 minuted and then pulled into a random parking lot.
It was 5am. i decided to ring my mom, i didn't know what else to do. She would be awake, it was 8am in New Jersey
"hey mom"
"cari, what are you doing up, isnt it like 5am?" mom replied
"i did something really bad, and i don't know what to do" i exclaimed, starting to sob
Mom tried to get me to get my words out, but she couldn't understand me through my crying
"cari, come home, i don't know what's happening, but i'm worried, book the next flight out, we will pay, just come home"
After hanging up the call i booked a ticket home on my phone, and then drove back home to pack
When i got back, Alex was up, for some reaon
"where did you go?" she asked
"just drove" I replied not really wanting a conversation
"i'm going home for a bit, leaving in a few hours, just thought you should know" i said
"oh, ok" alex replied
there was such an awkward tension, and both of us just retreated back to our bedrooms, me to back, and Alex to sleep, i assume.
...
The Next day:
Shannon POV:
i want to hate her, i should hate her, but for some reason i don't.
she didn't even say anything, didn't even apologise.
Why does she do this to me, she keeps hurting me, and i keep letting her
I hate Alex, but i shouldn't. Why do i hate Alex more than i hate cari when alex did nothing wrong
i hate myself
my pillow is wet from all my tears. i don't know what to do with myself
"it's a new day" i said under my breath as i got out of bed
I smashed my phone last night, out of anger. i was so angry. i need to go fix that today, that will take my mind off things, but apart from that i have nothing to do. i'll be alone with my thoughts. great.
...
Cari POV:
I walked through the doors of the New Jersey Airport to see my mom and dad waiting for me. i looked a state. i hadn't stop crying since last night, my face was puffy, my eyes red.
"cari, what's going on" mom said as we started the drive home
"i fucked everything up, again" i said under my breath
"Shannon came with us to San Francisco." i said, but mom and dad already knew that, Bobby would of updated them
"we talked, a lot, we dicussed things -"
"you had sex" mom interjected
That was the first time i had let out a slight laugh in a few days, even though it wasn't really something to laugh at
"yes, a couple times"
"Cari, what good was that going to do" dad said
It's times like this where i was glad i was so close with my family
"we were going to figure things out, we were. and then i got scared, and she came to my apartment and i was with someone else" i said twiddling my thumbs
Mom and dad looked at eachother in the front seats
"cari.." mom said, disappointed
"yea, i know i fucked up, alright, i came home to get away from it, so no need to express your disappointment too"
We drove in silence the rest of the way
