WinterWitch: Control

Chapter 3

I wish the memory had stayed unfinished, because I knew that Wanda could feel my guilt as she took the mist slowly away from my eyes, the small woman sitting on the sofa coming back into view. She was looking at me, a sign of pity on her face that really did make me want to punch her. I didn't want her pity. I didn't deserve it.

"James..." she whispered, a name that slightly calmed my agitated mind, but I was still thrown by the flashbacks. No one called me James, not even Steve unless he was angry with me, but even then he would state my full name. He had only done that before the Winter Soldier came along. He didn't get angry at me anymore, because he thought it would trigger something or make me close him off, which it probably would.

My fists were clenched and my breathing came out in stutters as my chest quickly jolted up and down. My throat felt dry and I wondered whether I had screamed when she invaded my mind. I stared into her sympathetic, brown eyes and felt the anger built up in my blood. "Stop feeling sorry for me." I ordered, my voice sounding rougher than I expected. I must've been screaming or at least shouting.

"How can I not?" she argued like it was obvious that she should feel that way. It wasn't her problem that I became the Winter Soldier, so she shouldn't feel the need to apologise, a need that I could tell by her face that she had.

"I deserved it." If I had been stronger, trained for longer, I could've survived on the train, but I failed and it resulted in me falling from the train, leaving Steve alone to battle HYDRA. I became part of the organisation that Steve was fighting, which was problematic itself.

"You deserved none of this." she said, sounding a little sterner than before, like she was gaining confidence. It was good that she was toughening up. She was too soft and I could see it from the first time I saw her. She was weak.

"You did." I stared at her as she knotted her eyebrows in confusion at me.

"I...don't understand." I didn't want to tell her, but my lips were moving before my brain could stop me. She didn't deserve the words I was giving her, but I was becoming more and more irritated.

"You deserved the pain you got. You signed up for it." I retorted, almost spitting the words out at her, the frustration evident in my voice. I was mad at her for signing up for a facility like HYDRA. She may have been a pretty dame, but she was stupid.

She looked at the ground, so that I couldn't quite see her face. "I didn't know what I was getting into." she whispered and if I had normal hearing, I wouldn't have heart her for sure.

"Right." I said, sarcastically, and stormed out of the room, not looking back when she called my name or began to run after me. She wasn't quick enough. I got to the elevator and stepped inside, pressing the button to take to my floor. I saw Wanda sprint after me as the doors shut and as soon as they slid closed, she started banging the elevator with her fists, the sound resonating in the elevator as I rode up to my floor. I didn't want her pity. I also didn't want to harm her, so I knew leaving her was the best option to keep her safe. Besides, I doubted she wanted me in there. She must've thought I was a monster.

Wanda POV

I watched the elevator door close, Bucky's face emotionless as he watched me practically sprint towards the doors.

"Shit!" I cursed and threw my hands by my sides in frustration, cringing at how childish I must've looked. Well, that went well I thought to myself and walked towards the nearest plush leather chair, throwing myself into it and sinking it. I looked at the sun that was slowly setting on the horizon for what seemed like hours, the darkness edging me into the edges of a deep, deep sleep, but before I could, the distinct sound of my phone jolted me awake, a small groan coming from my lips. I usually went to bed quite early, around ten o'clock, a habit I got into after we were saved from HYDRA, but then I would sometimes have nightmares and wake up extremely early, sometimes one or two in the morning. I found myself getting sleepy at eight, something that the others on the team seemed to find annoying.