Playing with Fire: A BLACKPINK Story

Chapter 18: Complicated

2019.

Jisoo.

It was strange. It was like I knew before he even opened the door. I knew exactly what he was going to do. I knew that he was going to go out there and try to be a hero and I knew that he was going to get hurt. And maybe he was going to die.

I could have stopped him. I should have stopped him, even. But I didn't. I just let him run out the doors, gun in hand, the way he always had before.

To be honest, I don't know why I didn't stop him. My head was still whirling from seeing him. My emotions were a thunderstorm. There were no words, nothing I could do to explain what I was feeling. I had never expected to see him again, let alone under the stage of our Coachella set. He had been trying to hurt someone--maybe kill them. I knew that. I knew that, and I still didn't care. Because I was still in love with him, and it didn't matter what he did.

But that wasn't right either, was it? Because it did matter. Especially after what he had already done. The last couple of months had been awful for me. They had been awful for all of us in our own ways. I still woke up in the middle of the night crying, remembering that terrible, cold look on his face when he had walked away from me.

But I do still love you, Ollie.

If he died here, I didn't know what I would do.

The sounds from outside the trailer had been terrible. I could hear shouting, violence, and the sound of someone slamming into the trailer. It had all happened so fast--I had wanted to forgive him, I had wanted to kiss him, I had wanted to slap him... there was so much that I wanted to do all at once.

Now, all I could do was stay crouched behind a door, low to the ground, praying that whatever was happening, he would be okay.

If he can just make it through this, we'll be alright. We'll figure it out. Even if we have to keep it a secret forever. It'll be worth it.

The story he had told had made sense. I hadn't been surprised to hear what the boss had said to him. After our confrontation in the office, well, nothing would have surprised me. I just couldn't believe that Ollie had walked away without a fight. Then again, if I had been in that situation, I don't know what I would have done either. Who is to say that I wouldn't have made the same exact choice that he had?

Ashley came in to get me only a moment later. And that was when I heard the gunshot.

I knew then that something had gone horribly wrong. Ollie would have never allowed a gun to be fired blindly that close to where I was hiding. I ducked instinctively, but Ashley didn't let me stop. She kept me moving out of the trailer and into the open. I didn't know her that well--she was Rosé's friend, not mine--but I could tell that she was tough as nails. She was beautiful and strong and I admired her greatly.

Once we were in the open, my blood froze. I could see that other woman--the one Ollie had been with before--fighting like a whirlwind, taking down countless attackers with what seemed to be little effort.

But Ollie...

Ollie was on the ground. Covered in blood. Too much blood.

Ashley was saying something to me, but I couldn't hear her. I tore myself from her grasp, rushing over to Ollie, shouting his name, pleading with him, saying words that I wasn't even thinking about out of some desperate hope that maybe, just maybe, he would hear me and wake up. There was so much blood and somehow it had gotten on my hands--because I was touching his chest, begging him to get up.

The next few moments were a blur, and soon Ollie's partner, the beautiful young woman, was talking to me, but her words were just noise. It took me a moment to understand that she was asking for my help. I realized then that none of these people spoke Korean and that I was going to have to rely on my shaky English skills, something I was never comfortable with.