Agami

~36~

Author's Pov

"Parihaar"

Chandini dismissed all the daasis from her Chamber before walking inside her bathing Chamber. The whole day she was with Karna, relishing their love admist the valley of flowers. Whole day they layed wrapped in each others love not caring about anything. Her whole energy was drained both emotionally and physically.

Once she felt she was alone, she started removing her clothes one by one. Her gaze fell on the traces of blood on her skirt which was lying on the floor. She picked it up with shivering hands. This traces of blood is the proof that she had lost her chastity. Tears ran down her eyes as she let the piece of cloth fall from her hands.

She looked at her reflection through the water in the pond, which was kept for her bath. She could clearly see Karna's teeth marks along with holi colors smudged on her neck, shoulder, chest, waist and her inner thighs. Her whole body was adorned with his marks along with red holi colours and mud.

A sob escaped her lips as she slowly caressed the marks on her body. She became his in every sense before marriage. She submitted herself to Karna even before they were tied together in a relation. Suddenly everything started becoming more clear for her. The intensity of the act she had just performed made her shudder in fear and shame.

"Hey Mahadev what have I done?" Chandini cried falling on the floor.

She felt extreme guilt weighing her heart. No, not because she gave herself to Karna but because she had broken her parents trust on her. They trusted her with everything but she betrayed them in a way a daughter should never do. She had disgraced her relationship with her parents and also with Karna. She felt like she used his love for her selfishness.

She failed to trust her parents who gave birth to her. Who flourished her with love and care. She let the words of the maids manipulate her and it led her to commit something which can not be reversed. She failed her parents and their teachings. She let her insecurities control her. In her insecurities she commited a sin against them. She did what she thought she would never do.

"Forgive me matashree, pitashree. I have broke your trust and have committed a sin. I am sorry. Please forgive me if possible." She wailed loudly.

If anyone comes to know about the deed she had performed not only her's but also her whole family's dignity and prestige will be turned into dust. No she will not let anyone know about it. She had already risked her family's dignity but not again. What happened between her and Karna will only stay between them. Not even a soul will know about it.

She don't know for how many hours she spent lying on the floor crying before deciding to take a bath. After washing and cleaning herself, she changed into a beautiful lehenga. She wore jewels which had successfully covered the marks given by Karna. Though she loved the marks given by Karna, which shows his claim on her but unfortunately she is not in a situvation to show the marks to anyone.