Chapter 18 Nevam

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I woke myself up at five o'clock, sharp. Which means I got a little over two hours of sleep. I'll just drink a cup of coffee or two. Samantha had came to wake me up, but that I already was and told me that she was making breakfast.

I pull on a black long sleeve dry fit shirt with a pair of black cargo pants, tucked in. Paired with black combat boots. I shake out my curls and run my fingers through my hair, and when that doesn't work, I grab my brush and brush it gently, perfecting it into the right shape and form. It's gonna get messed up anyway, but still, doesn't hurt to look good now.

I grab my bottle of cologne and spray it on lightly, not wanting it to be too overpowering to where I can't breath.

I stare at my face in the mirror after brushing my teeth and washing my face. I see too much of someone else on that mirror. Not enough of me in there. Starring into my crystal blue eyes, I don't see my own eyes. And taking in the silver flush and the silver veins in the whites of my eyes, my black hair and the shape of my face. Too much of me looks like him, too much of me is his. He controls me just as much as I control myself, maybe even a bit more. And that scares me. He had molded me to be the perfect weapon, a machine. And he may not think that or feel that way, but that's how it is.

I would never let these thoughts leave my head, ever. No one can hear what I think, if they could, they would look at me the way he does when I disappoint him in some way. And it's not that I don't try, I do I try all the damn time. I just think his expectations are too high for me, I can't quite reach them, even if I stand on my tip toes. I still couldn't and that KILLS me. I don't want to let him down, and I won't, not for this.

"Are you ready yet?" Samantha asks knocking on the door and disrupting my thoughts.

I clear my throat and yell from the bathroom, "Yes, I'll be out in a minute!"

I hear her feet shuffle away on the stone floors and look back at myself, and deeply sigh.

We eat our breakfast, peppered with her questioning about what will happen at training. What I'm trying to do is get used to everything, get a feel of it. I want to know my surroundings and the people in it before I commence my plan.

Our plates scratch against the floor as we stand to put our plates in the sink. Samantha has business to attend to with Carmoden and Davidson, so she has to leave too.

She pulls the door open and we step into the stretch of hall, down a few doors someone opens theirs as well. I look and see Raylynn and her huge family filing out of their own door. Her parents first, then her brothers, and lastly... her. She carry's a book in her hands, reading as she walks while the rest of her family talks loudly, her father is doing the exact same. Except the book in her hand is familiar to me, I've read it multiple times. It's from the old world, 'The Titanic' it's a classic. Romance or not, it's still amazing. Got to know good books when you see them, and the ones she's currently reading, is one of them.

The book looks worn, the spine bent and broken, the pages are slightly folded, and the cover seems to be a little faded. Which makes me wonder if she's read it over so many times that it started to wither, or if she found it like that somewhere.

She wears all black as well, a cropped long sleeve with black leggings that fit to her lower half like a second skin. Her chestnut hair is pulled back into a braid that travels down her back. Her shoes are my favorite part, black combat boots, same as mine. I grin at that thought.

Ella catches sight of me and Samantha and walks faster to catch up to us. When she does she puts a hand on my shoulder, well what she can reach of my shoulder, her head reaches just below it. Her family flows behind her, Titan and Raylynn so caught up in their books, that they didn't even fully register the fact that they all stopped. Raylynn rammed into Reese's back and her aqua eyes didn't even leave the page.

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