Chapter 43

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Trigger warning: abortion

Trigger warning: abortion

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2 months ago

"WHAT'S WRONG?"  I questioned Giovanni.

He's been quiet these days. I don't know if I did something wrong or if he's having second thoughts about us.

We are currently at his house, it's cold outside so he suggested we start a fire and cuddle.

He pulled me closer and began to play with my hair. "Nothing," he whispered.

My back is pressed against his body while we lay on the carpet, a blanket covering our bodies. I proceeded to watch the fire slowly burn the wood.

"What happens after this?" His voice came out soft. I narrowed my eyebrows, lifting my head to find Giovanni already staring at me. "What do you mean?" I replied.

"All this," he said.

What happens after this?

I haven't had time to think about that. I don't usually think about the future. I don't know where I see myself in ten years.

Dead maybe.

Or

I stepped down and someone else took my place.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "What about starting your own family?" Says Giovanni when he catches my gaze.

I cleared my throat.

"I don't plan on starting my own family."

I don't think I would be suited to be a mother. When I was a teenager I decided to not have kids. I don't want to bring my child into this unpleasant world.

The fact that I am a criminal with enemies will be a risk. Being paranoid 24/7 knowing that my child isn't safe even with me breaks my heart.

"What about you?" I murmur. "I plan on starting a family."  he smiles to himself, and for some inexplicable reason, I find myself blushing.

"Whoever will be the mother of your kids is lucky."

He raises his eyebrows, a cool gleam in his eyes. Giovanni and I stare at each other. It's like he's trying to read me. Pressing my forehead against his, I bit my lower lip and continued to admire him.

"You would be a great mother Gabriella," he whispered, placing his hand on my right cheek.

I leaned in, closed my eyes, and sighed. "I don't see it."

"

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