Warrior Cat OC Rater (Closed for catch up)

Koi

This Oc belongs to @inkfern- 

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Warning: This review contains spoilers for the owner's book about this character. Proceed with caution if you are interested in the story.

Name: Koi
Cool!

Past names: Koikit, Koipaw, Koipool
Oh, so they're from a clan. I wonder what territory they live in to have koi.

Name reason: The Koi part comes from the splashes of black, grey, orange and amber on her pelt. The pool comes from how sweet and calm she is, like a small pool
Okay, makes sense.

Appearance: A tortoisheshell and white she-cat with pale greenish-yellow eyes. She is thin-furred and sleek, making her popular around the toms.
The "popular" part sounds weird to me, I'd prefer if she was just described as pretty or something. Besides that the base is actually really nice, but could use more detail.

Gender: She-cat

Age: 32
K

Personality: She is very quiet and doesn't like to speak up unless someone is being a bully to one of her friends. She doesn't speak up for herself. She is smart and enthusiastic, though because of her shy character, she doesn't show it.
This is fine, but a little boring, I'd like more detail.

Sexuality: Pansexual
Nice!

Clan: CrystalClan, a Clan on the left side of a sparkling silver river. Their territory is dotted with pools of crystal water, where they prey on the koi fish who swim inside. The founder still lives today, once a rogue, Crystalstar found herself a mate and started CrystalClan.
Interesting, I like the river and pool part, but I'd like to know more about them as well. What's the territory around the river like, what's there culture? How would they be stereotyped?

Also, I think it's a little odd that the original leader is still there, it kind of forces the structure of the clan to be not fully solidified, unlike a clan of many generations. Also who are the cats Crystalstar recruited for the clan, besides her mate and later kits?

Rank: Rogue
I thought so

Kin: Her mother was Leafmold, a sickly white she-cat with amber and black spots.
Sickly? Was she always sick or is just now as an older cat sick? Also, what's her eye color?

Her father was Sun, a pale yellow tabby tom with brown eyes, a rogue who lives on the other side of the river.

She had one brother, Speckledfin, a tom with a white main coat(like Koipool) and amber and brown spots with pale green eyes. He died saving his sister.
Interesting he died saving her.

I don't have much of an opinion on any of the descriptions, because they're all pretty boring to me and could be given more detail.

Crush: Sterlingsilver, an athletic silver tom with white swirly markings on his coat, along with a white belly and blue eyes. He's a warrior of LeafClan Koi had met when chasing a rat accidently into LeafClan territory.
Sterling?? How the heck is he named after a metal, unless he was a Kittypet or Rogue before. And of course it's forbidden romance.

Also, I am weak for white marbled striped, I have one Oc with those and I adore the design choice (done well of course).

Mate: X

Kits: X
No comment

Mentor: Palestorm, a pale grey tom with blue eyes, the son of Crystalstar
Hm, I still would like better if the clan was older and maybe Palestorm was a descendant of Crystalstar (great grandson or something).