Warrior Cat OC Rater (Closed for catch up)

Flamebird

I'm back and ready for more! Shoutout to -WritingWarriors-  and wolfgoddess19  who both suggested ways to copy and paste instead of typing it all out. Thanks, guys!

Also! Because ranking each part of the form is both boring and time consuming, I'm going to try rating without the ranking! (If people don't like it I'll go back to the regular way)....

This Oc belongs to wholeftmywindowopen

Name: Flamebird. Known as Dawn, Love, or most commonly Dawn, love by her mate. He tried to call her "Birdy" once and she hated it
I'm curious why her nickname is Dawn? The love part makes sense though. Also, the part about her hating "Birdy" is funny XD

Past names: Flamekit, Flamepaw Makes sense

Name reason: Her prefix is because of her pelt color, and her suffix is because that was her mother's prefix. (more info in backstory)
Good, Good

Appearance: a slightly-below-average-height orange tuxedo she-cat with slight tabby markings. She has yellowish-green eyes.
Ok, it's good, but a bit basic. You could try spicing it up with eye color, scars, markings, body type, etc. Also, when writing her description, you could try "a faint tabby" instead of "slight tabby markings". Idk it just flows better Imao

Gender: She-cat
K

Age: at the time of my fanfic abOUT 21 years old (in human years?) a pretty young warrior
You could actually, make her 21 moons because that's a young warrior, but I get what you're going for

Personality: Pretty stubborn and can come off as bossy to other cats. She can be very goofy and friendly, but tends to be irresponsible. She likes making plans, which she thinks are great, but they never turn out that well. She doesn't consider the consequences of her actions.
Seems pretty balanced, though maybe a couple more traits. (But who am I to judge? I literally HATE writing personalities for my Ocs)

Sexuality : Bi? idk
Bi-curious?

Clan: Sky...? it doesn't really matter in my story
Hmmm... If the clan doesn't really matter, I'd suggest using your favorite canon clan or making up your own. Either way

Rank: Warrior/queen
Makes sense

Kin:
Father: Eveningstar. A dark blue-gray tom with amber eyes. Very opinionated and controlling of his daughter. He tends to blow things out of proportion to the point where he hates some of his clanmates because of it.
So, her dad is a control-freak and Drama Queen... Nice. Also, for some reason I'm imagining him with long fur... The appearance is a bit boring though, needs something like body type, fur type, etc.

Mother: Birdwatcher. A orange van with yellow-green eyes. She is much like her daughter in personality, but exponentially calmer. She dead tho
(no siblings)
Sad. Her appearance makes sense with Flame, but likewise it's kind of boring and needs more detail

Crush: Her mate Funneltail
Makes sense

Mate: Funneltail. (i'm submitting him so no description)
Uhhh-

Kits:
Stormkit: the oldest of their kits. Very adventurous and/or mischievous. He is the carbon copy of Funneltail in appearance and is the bravest of the kits. Named after Flamebird's nickname for Funneltail.
*Me cheating because I looked at his appearance* Cute! But I'm still curious as to why their nicknames are Dawn and Storm...

Morningkit: very anxious and shy. She's very close to her father and is quite paranoid. She looks mostly like her mother but her pattern is a bit different. Named in spite of Eveningstar.
I would like an actual description of how her pattern differs, and eye color. I like the reasoning behind her name though :p

Birdkit: A tom with his father's color, but his mother's straight fur. He's very inquisitive and quiet simply because he doesn't have social skills. He was named after Birdwatcher.
Okay, at this point the kit look-a-likes are getting kind of boring... And I still need his eye color!

Dawnkit: a she-cat with her mother's pattern and her father's curly fur. Easily the goofiest and friendliest of the kits. She's very clumsy. She was named after Funneltail's nickname for Flamebird.
Can you even see a tabby pattern with curly fur? Hmm.... But what's her EYE COLOR?!

Overall, the kits had kind of boring descriptions. Mostly because all their appearances take from their parents and don't have a lot of detail. Try adding traits from Flamebird's father or Funneltail's parents

Friends:
Fallingsky: A short, ditzy gray she-cat and Flamebird's best friend. She ships a lot of cats and they just shrug it off.
Eye color??

Heatherstorm: a average-build brown tabby tom. He's the most sensible of them.
Okay, but where's the EYE COLOR??

Seedflip: a tall, lanky nb ginger tabby and the e p i t o m e of WindClan beauty. They're pretty sassy and can be arrogant.
Do you know hOW lOnG it took me to get "nb" is Non-binary XD
Anyways, the description is fine, but once again mORe dETaiL (EYE COLOR)

Backstory: Funneltail was brought into the clan as a young apprentice (6ish moons) at about the same time Flamebird was like 2ish moons?
Ok...
When Funneltail was about 8 moons, he went out hunting alone. He ran into a dog and since he was an apprentice, did what made the most sense to him- running to the camp. This resulted in Birdwatcher dying and Eveningstar having a permanent grudge against Funneltail.
Whoah! That escalated quickly...
And it needs more detail. How did Flamebird handle her mothers death? What did the clan think? Was anyone else injured? Seems unlikely 1 queen would die and no one else gets injured. What happened!!
Flash forward to when they're both warriors. Eveningstar is being s u p e r controlling and Flamebird decides she's done.
Okay, this is  s u p e r  lacking in detail. Like how is he being controlling? What did he do to make her snap? What's he doing to discriminate against Funneltail? And what happens we during the huge chunk of life we just missed? Mentor, perhaps?
She asks Funneltail to pretend to be mates with her to spite Eveningstar, which works until Flamebird gets pregnant. They eventually fall in love (for real this time) much to Eveningstar's dismay.
....That's it? How did she "accidentally" get pregnant? Cuz outside the books, the fandom DEFINITELY knows how that works so...? Also, why aren't her kits mentioned? Just noticed her friends also aren't mentioned at all...

Review: Ok! So, this Oc is alright, but my main problem with it is just how basic it is. The descriptions were all really simple, and the kits were basically just copies of their parents, and didn't have eye colors listed. Even the main Oc had a really simple appearance without anything special to set her apart from others. Just add something to make her more interesting (same goes for friends and kits)!
With the backstory, again it was very simple, like the bare minimum required to rate it. There was absolutely nothing about her relationship with her mom and dad, kithood, and nothing about her apprenticeship. Then it skips to her warrior status, and we never get to see why or how Eveningstar controls her. Past that though, we don't get to see how her feelings for Funneltail develop either, and it's kind of a huge plot hole that she "accidentally" got pregnant. I'm also disappointed the reasoning behind there nicknames was never revealed.....
Anyways, to fix all of this, just add some details on the appearances and flesh out the backstory a a lot more!

Edit: Oof, sorry this was more of a rant than constructive criticism 😅 I was kind of pissy when I wrote this and didn't offer as many suggestions as I usually do, so I hope you get something positive out of this