Warrior Cat OC Rater (Closed for catch up)

Fernwhisper

This Oc belongs to voidflower-
_______________________

Name: Fernwhisper
I love the name!

Past Names: Fernkit and Fernpaw
Makes sense

Name Reason: She was named 'Fern' kit because of her aunt, Brightfern, (her father, Puddleleaf's sister) because Brightfern got killed saving Fernkit's mother, Wanderingheart from a fiery branch falling when she was expecting kits (Brightfern was trying to save Fernkit's mother and all of the unborn kits).
Not sure what's up with the parenthesis since I get what you mean. Why was there a fire though?

Wanderingheart survived, but breathed in a lot of smoke from the fire so it infected one of her kits.
Nooo 😭

When they were born (Brightkit and Fernkit- in memory of Brightfern) Brightkit was fine, but Fernkit always had sort of a raspy voice.
Wait... what?? I don't think that's how smoke works on pregnant mothers.... wouldn't she be deformed or something? Having a scratchy throat or whatever would be if she was the one who actually breathed in the smoke...

It got better, but in memory of the hardships Fernkit/paw went through, at her warrior ceremony, Fernpaw was named Fernwhisper because of her quiet voice.
Sort of for disability but in a more sophisticated way

Appearance: Fernkit was ginger and pale gray and had brown eyes.
Which was her base color?

By the time she was an apprentice, the light gray became more of a sparkling white.
Uhhh sparkling?? And usually white changes to a different color not the other way around

And by the time Fernwhisper was a warrior, she had some black specks too,
Like all over?

as some of the light gray turned darker gray than white.
I thought all of the gray turned white??

(I know, I know, a lot of changes overtime 😀)
Um yeah 0-0. I dare say it's unrealistic and doesn't make sense 😭😂 Also need waaay more detail

Gender: She-cat
Yup

Age: 17 moons, young warrior, but trusted
Yeah she's super young 0-0. That's the equivalent of 20 in my chart. She must be pretty responsible though to be "trusted" in general

Personality: Loyal, passionate, brave, but not reckless, agile, fast, and a good friend to have
Sooo... good friend how? And again, loyal isn't a personality trait (in these instances) I swear to god I'm sick of seeing this on every form 😭😂 Agile and fast are also not personality traits and would be better on the appearance. Besides all that, this is literally just a list of positive traits, where are the negative ones??

Clan: Whimsicalclan (I made it up)
It's an interesting name! Be nice if there was some info about it *cough cough* like how it asks in the form *cough cough*

Rank: Deputy of Whimsicalclan
What!? She's only 17 moons and a deputy already? That's ridiculously young

Kin:
Mother: Wanderingheart- A ginger and white she-cat with bright green eyes
This is a very short description, needs a lot more detail

Father: Puddleleaf- A gray, muscular tom with sparkling blue eyes and white speckles and has a long scar running across his flank
I actually really like his description but it needs detail too