Book 3: Restart

💼02💼

Jeon Jungkook.
He used to be my best friend.
The guy I could always rely on when I needed him.
The guy who lent me his shoulder when I cried my eyes out over something stupid or serious.
The guy I could pour my feelings out to and not be judged because it was dumb or something laughable.

The guy I grew up with since day one, a playmate since diaper days.

My everything......

He looked different, but practically the same altogether. He had his hair long, and the front barley made it past his eyes, while the rest was past his shoulders. He had in those same stupid hoop earrings that I always told him looked ugly.

He had on....makeup.
He was wearing winged eyeliner, lip gloss on his thin lips. He had on some blush too.
He was wearing a crop top, his abs gone only leaving a small thin waist with a smooth stomach. He had on baggy jeans, fastened with a belt while he wore heels.

My best friend.

He looked like.......a girl.
He looked like the feminine girl version of Jungkook.

Was this really him or was I mistaken?
The only Jungkook I knew had almost a buzz cut, abs, muscles. He always ran before school and after, never late to practice. He would exercise for fun.

But this.......

I was behind the counter since my break was going to be over soon, meaning I would cry my eyes out over how I hated life and then eat my feelings away.
I wasn't taking any new orders from any new customers. Because of that he approached me with that same smile I always loved.

"Hey."
It is him. It is him.
Is he, is he a girl now?
"Hello, what can I get for you?"
"I want a black coffee please."

I almost started to tear up.
It is him.
His voice was the same, besides the lighter tone he carried with every syllable.

11 years ago~
Middle school

"Hey Yoongs!" I caught the ball he threw at me, almost loosing my balance.
"What muscle freak." He laughed, throwing his head back as he slapped his knee.
"Gosh you are too funny. But, what would it be like if we, I don't know........wore girl clothes?"

I stopped and looked at him.
He was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, his face looking at ground, bright red.

What?

10 years ago~
Freshman year

"Yoongi......."
I looked at him shocked. We were at his house, his parents out for the night. He was in their room, playing in his moms makeup.

He had on eyelashes, lipstick, blush.
"Jungkook? Are you trying to tell me something?"
He hurried up from the table, tears running down his cheeks.
"No!" He slammed the door behind me, running off to who knows where.

In the bathroom, Jungkook was rocking himself back and forth, shaking his head on his knees.

"I-I just w-wanna feel pretty-y."

-

He never brought it up again.
After that meltdown he got into sports, exercise, and everything considered 'manly'. Seeing him here now like this, brings back memories.

He looks so, pretty.
Or should I say she?
Is he a girl now?

The way Jungkook was looking at me now, he/she didn't recognize me.
I don't blame him/her.

As I stared at he/she on the other side of the counter, I couldn't help my curiosity.
"Hey uh," fuck I didn't know how to ask this.

Before I could get my sentence out I heard another voice. "Stay away from my girlfriend!" I looked up at the man wide eyed.

Me??
That's when I noticed, it was Taehyung.
It was really Kim Taehyung, the guy who had a massive crush on Jungkook.
The guy that I literally beat the shit out of and then befriended afterwards.
They got together.

I wasn't.......I wasn't there.
But like again, Taehyung didn't recognize me either.

That confirms it. Jungkook goes by she now.
Good for her.
Taehyung was about to bite my head of before Jungkook intervened.

"Baby stop it! He didn't even get to ask his question! Every guy that talks to me isn't hitting on me! Anyway, what were you going to say?"

I was now out in the spotlight.
"Uh, shit. I really, really hope I don't sound rude by I came over to ask your pronouns because I didn't want to get them wrong and all that and your boyfriend confirmed it by saying girlfriend so yeah- no I'm done goodbye."

I was so fucking embarrassed.
Maybe I'll quit this job.
Jungkook grins at me.
"It's fine, some people can't tell. I'm glad you came over to ask." I nod, sneakily looking at the clock.

All of that happened in a fucking minute?!!
"Order for Jungkook!"
She smiles at me before leaving to get her coffee. Taehyung glared at me.
"Watch your back."
I give him a blank stare.
Ok so he hasn't changed at all.

Im on break now. Without responding I walk away to the back room. I can here him curse behind me which makes me chuckle a bit. I walk to a bench and sit, resting my head against a random locker relishing in the coolness it gave my neck.

Jungkook. He's a- no. She's a girl now. How did this happen? In eight and ninth grade, was she really questioning her gender identity? Was she questioning all throughout high school!

I was so oblivious....
I close my eyes, wanting to take my mind off of what just happened.
I had just seen my best friend for the first time in seven years who transitioned.

I had also just seen an old friend/my best friends current boyfriend for the first time in seven years.

I turn around and reach for my locker, pulling out my cigarettes and a lighter.

I needed a quick smoke.

-

I lean on the wall, the smoke coming out of my mouth relieving my stress. Meeting those two again. I almost had a panic attack and I haven't even seen the others yet.
Definitely not ready to face them and have them realize that it really is me, have them judge me for who I've become.

I mean Jungkook transitioned, and is now dating Taehyung.
What next?
Are Namjoon and Jin still a couple?

What job did Hoseok take on?

And Jimin......

I spit out my cigarette and step on it.

I didn't want to think about him, about any one of them. I was so sure that I was safe in Ulsan away from everyone else! In the past seven years they've never came, so why now?

I didn't want to meet them.
I didn't want to see their faces at all.

But did I?

-

Lynn~~