A Court of Death and Retribution

chapter 40

After dinner, Nyx, Cal, Adira, Maeve, and I sat in a tent playing cards. Surprisingly, Maeve wasn't winning as much as usual, but I knew it was because her mind was focused on the upcoming battle.

The sun had just started to set, and the entire war camp was growing uneasy. There hasn't been any sign of formation from the witches or Death Gods. Not even a sign of them training or preparing for battle. They just sat in their camp, probably plotting their attack.

I wasn't focused at all either. Thoughts of my father swirled in my head. Rhysand had told me he was dead—misted in a fit of rage by him when they came to rescue me. He had apologized profusely for it, but at the time, it felt like a relief to know my father was dead. That I no longer had to worry about him finding me.

Now that I've had time to digest the information, anger is all I feel. Anger towards my father, for abusing my mother and forcing us to run. For instilling the deep fear inside both of us to keep us running and for never letting us feel safe. For trying to "save" me when I was captured. I hated that the most. I hated that he thought he was doing the right thing by siding with the witches. I hated that he thought I would be happy to see him. That I would be grateful for him finding me and "rescuing" me. I hated—

"Bella?" Nyx rested a hand on my arm, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, is it my turn?" I cleared my throat and took my turn after Nyx nodded.

"Talk to me." Nyx's voice was filled with worry.

"I'm just angry at my father." I spoke dismissively, but Nyx gave me a look that said he wasn't going to let me out of this conversation. I sighed. "He thought he was doing the right thing. He thought he was saving me by trying to rescue me."

Nyx sent a gentle caress to my mental walls. "He was a twisted male Bella."

And that was really all there was to say about my father. He was messed up, delusional, and twisted. Deep down he believed that he sheltering me, that he was saving me.

He was so incredibly wrong.

I am so much more powerful and capable than the female I used to be. I've flourished despite my history, despite the terror and lies. I've found my home and my family. I've found my purpose in this world. I now know again what it means to be loved in every way, and how to love in return.

I do not fear myself or my power. I do not fear the witches or the Death Gods. I do not fear the Dark Mother.

But I do have fear. Fear for my family and my home. I fear what the Dark Mother will take before I kill her. So, when the time comes to unleash myself, I won't hold back. I will trust myself to destroy the beings that took my wings. They will feel every bit of my wrath as they crumble to ash.

I will become death. I will get my retribution.

A horn sounded across camp, the signal to get in position. All five of us scrambled out of the tent, running towards the edge of the camp.

Rhysand and Feyre were already standing there. Cassian was barking orders at the Illyrians while Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie were commanding the Valkyries. Thesan's General was instructing his arial army and I spotted Kier commanding the Darkbringers. Every other Court's armies got into position, and that's when I saw it.

Down in the valley marched thousands of creatures. Witches, Death Gods, and a few Illyrians started towards us in the distance, guided by the moonlight.

"It'll be a challenge fighting at night, so keep yourselves alert. If you need backup, do not hesitate to ask." Rhysand put a hand on Nyx's shoulder.

Nyx nodded once, then hugged his father and mother. I smiled at them, then I was pulled into a strong hug by Rhysand.

"Fight hard Belladonna. Keep him alive." He whispered in my ear.

"I will." I willed as much confidence in my voice as I could muster, then I was pulled into a hug by Feyre.

"Good luck. Trust yourself, you're stronger than them." She said with more confidence that I thought possible, making my heart warm.

"Thank you." I said before Nyx, Adira, Maeve, Cal, and I descended onto the battlefield.

Our armies had already begun to fight the witches as we arrived. The sounds of clashing metal and cries of the injured broke the silence of the night. The Illyrians used their powers to form shields of varying colors corresponding with their siphon colors. Plumes of black smoke hurled towards us—the witches' dark magic. Adira, Maeve, and Cal put up their shields, then we all looked at each other.

"Whatever happens tonight, I want you all to know that I'm honored to fight by your sides." Cal stated with confidence.

"We'll survive this together." Adira's face was full of determination.

"I love you all." Maeve looked like she would break down in tears, but she clenched her jaw.

Nyx let out a quick breath through his nose. "I refuse to lose any of you tonight. We will fight together and win together. You two are the best and strongest cousins I could ever ask for. Cal, you're my favorite brother," Nyx winked at Cal, who gave him a look that said, "I'm your only brother." Then Nyx looked to me. "Bella, you're the most perfect mate I could ever hope for." He squeezed my hand, then in my mind he spoke, "You are my ending and my beginning. My breath of fresh air and my curse. I love you, Belladonna."

"I love you, Nyx." My voice wavered in his mind as a tear fell down my cheek. I wiped it away, then turned to everyone else. "Thank you all for making me feel alive. Now, let's kill these bitches."

Everyone wore an evil smile as we turned to face the battle. I tore off my gloves and shoved them into the belt holding my various blades. Nyx held out his hand, and gave me a warm smile. "Well? You ready to raise hell?"

I gave him a determined smile in return. "Absolutely."