Detonators (Gerard Way/Party Poison)

Chapter 4

        It must be around midnight, and I still can't sleep. It's unusual for me. I'm usually asleep right after the Sun goes down. That's how it works for Killjoys, or at least me, since the dracs always seem go home at night-they don't know the zones that well, so only come when the Sun is out.  Or, I've never seen a drac out after dark, at least.
        I roll over and realize that there's not a window. I can't see the moon. Usually I fall asleep looking at it, thinking of everything and anything.
        But I can't see it anymore. And it's driving me crazy.
        I silently sneak out of my room, going out the back door as not to disturb Ghoul, who's on watch. I don't need him asking what I'm doing.
        Once outside, I start to climb the side of the diner, and up to the roof. It's peaceful up there, and I can make sure I'm alone.
        As soon as I can peek over the side, a ray gun is pointed to my head. Wonderful.
        "You have three seconds to tell me who you are or I shoot." I hear Party's voice, laced with venom.
        "Mr. Tough Guy, aren't you?"
        "Oh! It's just you Toxic. C'mon up," he says, his voice suddenly happy, all malice erased.
        Well there goes my plan of being alone.
        He reaches a hand and pulls me up onto the roof. "Sorry 'bout that. It's just instinct, I guess."
        "It's fine. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I'll leave,"
        "No! You can stay. It's not a big deal, I just come up here when I can't sleep. It's, I don't know, peaceful and quiet I guess."
        I smile, and take a seat next to him, our legs dangling over the side of the diner. "Yeah, I couldn't see the moon, so I came out here."
        He looks at me questionably, and I explain my weird love for the moon. He'll think I'm weird, but at this point, I really don't care.  Surprisingly, he doesn't judge. Instead, he says, "I feel the same way with the Sun, actually. Yeah, it's a giant ball of radiation, but it gives life, and sometimes even happiness. I try to be happy in the screwed up world, just how the Sun has to keep shining."
        We continue to talk about nothing in particular, just lighthearted conversation, until he asks, "You know, I never got your story. What happened to you during the fires and why are you so mistrusting?"
        I look at him, not sure if I should wear my heart on my sleeve. If I should allow myself to be vulnerable for once.
        I know that I'm trusting too easily. Before the fires, my mother had always said that I always trusted everybody too easily, because I always wanted to see the best in everyone. After the fires, that changed. I realized I couldn't trust anybody.
        But right now, I want to be able to trust. I haven't had a shoulder to lean on in years. I told myself that I was better without one, but right now, I realize how much I miss it. I guess old habits die hard.
        A tiny voice in the back of my head called reason is screaming at me to not tell him, that it will only end with hurt and pain. But my heart says go for it. I'm going to end up dying in this desert anyway; it's better to have a friend who understands than to be all alone, I decide.
        For some reason, I trust Party Poison. Something about him is just- right. And I can tell he trusts me. First he brought me to live at his base, and then he tells me his weird connection with the Sun-something I can tell he's never told anyone else.
        So when he says, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," with his lopsided smile, I respond with "it's a long story."
        "Well, it looks like it's about one in the morning, so I've got time."
        "Where do I even begin?" I wonder aloud.
        "How about at the beginning, before everything went to chaos," he suggests. He's trying to get me to open up, but I can tell he doesn't want to pry. I appreciate it.
        "Before the fires, I guess you could say I had a perfect life. Star student, musician, athlete, and a perfect family. There were four of us. Me, my parents, and my baby sister," I smile at the memory.
        "Life was good. Yeah, it had a lot of bumps, but it was good. And then, about a year before the fires, my parents got on the pills. They tried to hide it from Lily and I, but I could tell. They weren't completely strung out, not yet anyway.
        "But I didn't want the same thing to happen to Lily and I, so we made a plan. She was twelve at the time, and I was fifteen. The day before we were set to leave, the fires happened. Luckily we were prepared, and were able to get out before most of the damage, but it was still hard. I can still see the hopeless looks on people's faces as we ran, hear their screams...
        "But we made it out alive. And we did extremely well. Toxic Torrent and Electric Voltage. For only twelve, she was a great shot. She probably could've even beat Jet," I laugh.
        "We killed a bunch of dracs that first year, and the whole time I was worried about her. I mean, my baby sister was shooting a ray gun! We were always careful, but one day she got shot. It wasn't anything major at first, a flesh wound to the arm, we thought. So I fixed her up and we were on our way.
        "But about a week later, it somehow got infected. Badly. I took her to everyone I knew, and tried my best to help her.  She tried to hide it, but I could tell how badly she was hurting.  She was pale, and her spark had kind of dulled.  She still tried to be positive and joke around to hide her pain though. She was so strong. But I knew that if I continued to let her stay out here, she'd die.
        "So I did what I had to do. I brought her to the outskirts of Battery City and left her in front of a hospital. We agreed that it was the only way she would survive, and when she got out, she would come back into the zones with me.
        "I knew she wouldn't come out. It was just something I had to tell her to make her go. I-I couldn't let her die. I still have to live with the weight of knowing I put her in there, but at least I know she's safe."
        Party's arm wraps around me, a comforting gesture I haven't gotten in a while. I gladly accept it and lean into him, enjoying the small gesture.
        "On my way out of the city," I continue, "I met a boy named Blood Beam. He was a few years older than me, and always had a smile on his face. He helped me find my bike and fix it up. He understood what I had gone through, and we decided to become partners. A dynamic duo."
        "Wait, were you and Blood Beam like a thing?" Party asks.
        "Oh, is Party Poison jealous?" I tease.
        "Ha, no. Okay, maybe a little," he admits.
        Did Party just admit he had feelings for me? I felt my heart race and an unfamiliar feeling in my stomach. Shoot, what was I doing? Maybe I was just reading too much into this. I would think about it later. 
        "No, we weren't. He was like my big brother of sorts. An annoying one at that. But we loved each other in that sibling-like way and knew everything about each other. He was my confident, and I trusted him. We were partners for a long time. Killing dracs, making jokes.
        "But one day we ran into some dracs. We thought we could handle it. But we had been told that there were about five in the area. When we went, there were at least fifteen. We knew that we were outnumbered, but we tried our best.
        "About half way through the fight he must've realized that we couldn't win. And guess what he did? He ran for it. He left me in an outnumbered fight where I had a good chance of dying. Actually, it was almost guaranteed. He didn't care. He just ran. No goodbye or sorry, he just left me. I trusted Blood with everything I had, and he left me for dead. 
        "Well, I won that fight. Killed every drac twice over. All I had to do was imagine I was shooting Blood. I guess that's what anger does to you. If he had left me any other time, I would've been fine with it, not as hurt. But to leave me for dead? I hate him. I really do. I guess I wasn't good enough for him. Something about me just couldn't keep one friend. Yeah, I get that I'm not the friendliest person, but I trusted him with everything and I thought he did the same with me.  But I guess not.
        "So I started living on my own. I wasn't going to trust anybody, because they would leave me. I fended for myself, and it worked out great. But then you came and screwed it all up, Party. But I guess I should thank you for that," I say with a sad smile.
        That's it. It's out. The past I've been running from is finally out in the open. And Party Poison of all people knows about it. And I guess I'm glad it's him. But I do admit, it felt good to tell somebody. To get everything off of my chest. It feels as if a weight has been lifted off my chest. I feel lighter.
        His arms are still wrapped around me, embracing me in a comforting hug. I lean my head back against his chest, and I admit to myself that it feels good. Safe.
        "I'd say I'm sorry, but that won't do anything. But I do know what it's like to lose people, and I'm here for you," he says softly.
        I smile to myself. Blood Beam was never this comforting or understanding. When I told him about my sister, he decided to try and make me laugh and lighten the mood. I appreciated it at the time, but now, wrapped in Party's arms, I know that this is much better. To have someone allow you to be vulnerable and let all of the pain out.
        "So I guess it's my turn now," he says.
        "Only if you want," I don't want to make him tell me. I'm not very good with this whole friendship/ possibly having feelings thing but I'm pretty sure he should want to tell me, and I shouldn't force him.
        "No, it's fine." And he begins.
        "In case you hadn't already figured it out, Kobra Kid is my little brother," Now that he points it out, I don't know how I missed it before. They look and act pretty similar. "Anyway, when the fires started, we stayed in the city with our parents. I was eighteen, and thought we had to leave. But he wanted to stay and help our parents, who had both gotten badly injured. I conceded, knowing that he wouldn't let it go. He was always the compassionate one. We stayed for about a week, and then BL started to take over. They began mass producing the pills, and our parents got on them because it helped numb their pain. Kobra and I wouldn't do it though. We both knew it couldn't end well.
        "At first BL politely accepted our denial to their pills. But then we started to see what was happening to our parents, and tried to get them off of the drugs. Somehow BL found out, and things weren't pretty. Especially once we started trying to expose them to the rest of the city. They started threatening us, but we didn't really care or listen. The truth needed to be known. So we grabbed some spray paint and you can only imagine what we did to that city!
        "But then they got serious. Said we had to get on the pills or they would kill our parents, the only family we had. Kobra and I didn't think they were serious, why would they kill innocents?
        "We were wrong. So, so wrong. We found them at home. Two shots to the back of the head each. We ran. Ran as far as we could out into the zones, and started our new lives.
        "Eventually we met up with Ghoul and Jet, who we had known from school and were friends with. The rest is history I guess. But everyday I still have to live with that guilt. That I basically killed them. If I had only suggested to run sooner, they would still be alive.  And of course I'm always looking out for Kobra.  He's really the only family I have left."
        I look up at him and grab his hand. "Hey, it's okay. That's horrible. It's not your fault. I never would've thought that they would kill innocents..."
        "Yeah, well I guess there's a first time for everything," he says sadly, lost in thought.
        It's then that I realize we both have scars on our hearts. But I know that we can help mend each other, and that's a risk that I'm willing to take.

A/N:  Wow over 100 reads?!  Thank you so much for reading my weird fanfic, I really appreciate it!  Things are going to start getting interesting pretty soon, so be on the lookout for foreshadowing and other clues!  Oh, and don't forget to vote and comment, because I love when you guys are active!

Oh, and what should Toxic and Party's ship name be?  ToxicPoison?  ToxicParty?  I'm really bad at coming up with ship names, so leave ideas in the comments!

Thanks again for reading, and stay classy!