California Blues

015

"Ivy! Ivy! C'mon Ivy!" Kat yelled out into the dead of night hoping to find her friend. Her voice was sore as she'd been searching through the trees for almost twenty minutes. Kat couldn't believe what just happened. She so badly wanted to lock it away in the vault of her mind, but it was getting hard. Kat struggled to ignore the unspoken thing this time as tears welled up in her eyes. Kat never imagined things would get this bad. If Kat knew this was going to happen, she would've never come to Santa Barbara, she would've just stayed home instead.

She looked out onto the small cliffs below her that covered the mountainside. Her blue eyes locking onto a small brunette haired figure sitting at the edge, staring out into the night sky. Kat slowly and carefully made her way over to Ivy.

Ivy could sense Kat's presence behind her, but she didn't mind. As soon as Kat sat down beside her, Ivy let out a loud cry. She pushed her head into Kat's shoulder, sobbing as hard as she could. Ivy hoped that if she cried all her problems away, they wouldn't be there when she returned. But reality wasn't fair and she knew that. So there she sat, in Kat's arms crying her heart out. It didn't take long for Kat to join her, letting out sniffles as her own eyes started stinging with tears. The girls let themselves cry for a while before slowing down, knowing it was time.

"How could I be so damn stupid Kat? I let this shit happen!" Ivy huffed out as her own guilt consumed her. She felt guilty about her wavering heart, not sure what it truly wanted.
"I let it happen too y'know. I fucked up a good thing because I couldn't get my priorities straight." Kat confessed, staring blankly into the moon above her for comfort. Ivy wrapped an arm around Kat's waist in a cuddle.

"I already knew how I felt about Gray, I just chose to ignore it. I thought if I just tried keeping the friendship strong, college would be fine and I wouldn't miss him too much. Boy was I wrong."
"Me too. I've been confused about Tyson for so long because part of me was still hung up on my stupid crush for Myron. And look what happened, I upset the one guy who genuinely cared for me!"

Kat and Ivy finally admitted their feelings for Tyson and Gray. They knew how desperately they tried to hide it, not once mentioning it to each other so it could never become real. But as days passed, their feelings grew, yet they still continued to ignore it, hurting everyone in the process. Including themselves.

"You even tried making me confess it. I don't know if you remember, but before we saw the twins on the night you got drunk, you were suggesting that T and I were something more. But I denied it, when inside I just wanted to tell you how madly in love I was with the boy."
Kat looked down at Ivy. "Then why didn't you? I would never judge you." Ivy shook her head.
"It's not that. I know you wouldn't Kat. I was just in denial, I didn't like the fact that I was starting to see T as more than a friend."
"We should've just talked to them. That day, when we fought and talked in Gray's room. I almost confessed. But when I saw the look of disappointment on his face as he hugged me, I couldn't tell if he felt the same way. But after tonight, I'm still not sure."

Kat felt the tears well up in her eyes again. She longed for an answer to her feelings, which is probably why she tried to read Gray most of the time. Kat hoped any sort of reaction or comment he made would ease her heart, but it only made it more restless, fuelling her desire for Gray. She just wished she acted sooner. They all did.

Ivy lifted herself off of Kat's shoulder, standing up in the process. Kat made grabby hands as Ivy pulled the blonde up to her feet. Ivy's small fingers wiped away any tears on Kat's face, hoping to make the girl smile. Kat rested her forehead against Ivy's in content.

"I don't know what I'd do without you V. I love you." Kat confessed tearing up once again.
"Shush, don't cry Kat. I love you so much."

The girls let out a small laugh, for once in their lives they felt sure about everything. And as much as they hated reality they had to face it sooner or later.