Falling in reverse

Chapter eight ~ i touched a microwave once

Lexi Barnes' Pov
I changed because of the fact that my panic attack caused me to feel all gross and sweaty you see stress effects people differently, I tend to shake and sweat.

After thinking of my talk with Leo about my girlfriend I realised that I was not out with my family yet, so when i got to my room i dug out all my pictures of me and Avalon. I put both of them where i wanted in my room but as soon as i had finished the boys all came in to my room. One is a Thrace with about 12 photos in that Avalon got me for my 13th birthday before she disappeared.

"Who is the pretty lady?" Lucas asked looking at one of my favourite pictures of me and Avalon.

"Oh that's me and Avalon." I said.
"Wait your girlfriend is Avalon Monroe, like ghost the underground fighter?" Lucas asked me.
"No, duh! She was going to be called some basic name but I was like 'why not ghost'"I told them.
"We know her, was kidnapped like two years ago." Laurence said.
"Four years ago, they think she is dead don't they?" I asked.
"She was declared dead last year." Levi said.
"Great. That bitch probably binned my invitation." I huffed.
"What's that meant to mean." Levi said quietly.
"Ma'am was a great mum as you probably knew, but she was awful worse than you could expect." I mumbled walking downstairs so I could have a smoke.
"You want to hear this or not because if you don't follow me you won't hear me." I said from the bottom of the staircase.
I walked out of the door on my crutches and headed to the decking where I had left my guitar earlier and I pulled out my blunts. I pulled one out to light with my lighter I got from Ma'am before she went off the band wagon totally.

However this should have been key number one to the fact my mum was not ok but being young I wasn't completely sure what it meant.
I turnt around to see my brothers all completely shocked out of their minds. "Don't even try, I have been smoking since I was six, the day dad died I was not calming down and ma'am didn't like that so she gave me my first blunt ever since I have had a problem. Since my anxiety and adhd have never been medicated, it helps with them. Dani has tried multiple times to get me to quit the death stick in my hand, but he gives up every fucking time because my conditions act up the nicotine is a problem to most but to me it is an asset helping with making me slightly more normal like the fact that non of you were even aware of my mental health problems, I am a basket case for bad parenting." I said pacing before grabbing my guitar and begging to sing one of my favorite songs.

(She sings this song)
"Ma'am and I never lived in the well off parts of town she used to have the money for a nice flat but then she started turning up to work trollied and high. So after that loss she found herself a boyfriend well until he overdosed  in front of her eight year old daughter who he had been beating black and blue every occasion he could. So I had never seen some things and I had never been taught English until Dani taught me mum let our neighbours teach me everything I knew we lived in a polish immigrant area of Nottingham, so sometimes when I am scared I switch into my birth language. I told people what was going on most of them said 'You know what that sounds like... a lie." Which I agree is funny now but it was never a fucking lie." I said pacing.
"Mhm..." all of my brothers hummed.
"At home we didn't even have a fucken microwave ma'am was too skint, we ran out of fucken money because she was so desperate to get her fix, that she had made the decision to have no way for us to cook so I lived off small food I could buy for cheap. The first time I saw a microwave oven I didn't wash my hand for a week because I thought it was like diamonds I was so excited I ran around with all my friends telling them I touched a microwave oven for weeks. I was microwave kid for years given the nickname and it stuck, living in a small town there was only like a population of 290 people." I said laughing at my own stupidity.
"You know we never got to have a mum but it doesn't seem like we missed out on much." Louis said trying to lighten the mood.
"You can say that again." I laughed before I grabbed my crutches and decided to head to the kitchen and make myself some food.
I found some Nutella in one of the cabinets and grabbed some strawberries, once I dropped something Levi came running in.
"You ok Lexi?" He said chuckling.
"Nope need help please." I replied as I hoisted myself onto the countertop where I could sit while Levi was washing the strawberries for me.
"Thank you Levi." I said smiling but Leo was behind me and before I knew it he had thrown me over his shoulders and led me back outside where he sat me on his knee.
"I am sorry for treating you so badly, I was scared you would not love us." Leo whispered in to my ear.
I kissed his forehead "It's ok bubba I love you too." I said smiling at his shocked face.
We all sat together as a family and watched the sunset, I don't actually know what else happened because my body must have been exhausted because after two minutes of trying to fight the sleep off I fell asleep in Leo's embrace.