Falling in reverse

Chapter ten ~ yes, I have fucken' tattoos are ya thick?

Pyjamas for the beginning

Lexi Barnes' Pov
Last night was awful. My brothers , who I hadn't seen since they abandoned me, were all asleep and I was the only one awake. I was used to doing this in my old home but being in a foreign place everything seemed ten times worse.
The mansion whispered with every gentle blow of the wind it was as if the house was trying to tell me something. The harsh shadows shone into my room illuminating all of my flaws as I lay on the floor listening to the aged house creek as if it were about to break at any second.
For my brothers who have lived here for their entire lives this is normal but having barely stayed in one house for more than three months with mothers I never really found time to sleep. I was always exploring the new city.
I used to cautiously climb down the sloped edges of each of our houses in Nottingham and then I would slowly disembark on my journey through the harsh, unforgiving, yet amazing city. I still remember the way the wind felt tickling my cheeks as I ran from one end of the city to the next.
Staring at the azure blue sky of Los Angeles I couldn't help but feel lost. My life has always been this way, never sleeping and always exploring. I have moved many times but this move was by far the furthest. With mum we first moved from the highlands in Scotland where we were all one happy family to Nottinghamshire where it was just me and my mum and now to Los Angeles with my six brothers who know completely nothing about me.
To them I am trapped as the four year old who clung to them as mum and dad went away to court, what they don't see is when our delightful parents separated everything went to shit.
Mum was fucking high or wasted and the night was my form of comfort, the darkness seemingly spread like a blanket of darkness and quietness. My kind of heaven. This is where I got the nickname of raccoon from everyone because life was hard but sometimes we turn around to make the most of it and I did the occasional dumpster dive.
My two different coloured eyes shone like the moon, but my eye bags were deep and dark enough to displace the apparent beauty of my two different coloured eyes. One the deep blue of the night sky and the other was the murky green of the river mersey.
Going downstairs in the morning I was aware I looked like shit but to be honest I didn't care. I just wanted some strong coffee and to be surrounded by people, my brothers all looked up at me in complete shock oh crap i am not wearing enough clothes and my tattoos are all on show as well as my scars.

"You have some nice tattoos there sis," Leo snarled.
"Yes, I have fucken' tattoos are ya thick. Look I feel like shite and I am exhausted can I get changed and can we have this talk another time." I snapped.
" pierdolić, potrzebują angielskiego pieprzonego lęku, nie jestem dziś przygotowany na śmierć." (They need english fucking dread I'm not prepared to die tonight) I mumbled in Polish.
"Shite. Sorry I didn't mean to snap at you please don't punish me for this it was an honest mistake, I didn't sleep last night I know it's been a week and all but I am not too settled in." I rambled.
"Go change we are going to have a chill day ok?" Laurence said smiling.

"Really Lexi!" Louis sighed as I sat down next to him.
"What swear is what my people do best!" I said leaning closer to Louis
"don't get comfortable we have let you change now can we have a word about the tattoos please." Laurence said from in front of me.
"Ok you can ask anything but if I don't want to answer it I am no answering them ok?" I hummed.
They all nodded before Leo decided to go first.
"Why are there so many tattoos?" Leo asked nervously.
"I get it we aren't all morning people but you were a shit to do that this morning, and I have eight that's not loads they all have meaning." I said.
They continued asking questions for about thirty minutes until we got to the last question which Lucas asked.
"Did you're mum abuse you?" Lucas said quickly.
"I don't know what gave you that idea but of course she didn't." I said trying to get up and run but Louis had a tight hold on me.
I hissed as my back made contact with Louis chest, I have some massive cuts there at the moment not to mention the fact I think I might have a fractured shoulder.
"You're leg was broken when you got here it wasn't cast, you flinch all the time, you just looked in pain when Louis held you back do I need to go on because there is a list!" Liam said backing up Lucas.
"Ma'am didn't call it abuse ok it was as she liked to say character building. It started when I was five and never ended her boyfriends who I beat the shit out of were all abusers to me, one of them taught mum that she could padlock the fridge and then I wouldn't be able to eat, ma'am neglected me to the point where I didn't know English until I met Dani at his gym. Ma'am didn't let me attend dad's funeral she was a mental bitch. Ma'am had a boyfriend called Neil who was the worst he made me work as a drug dealer so I could get food, at that point I hadn't eaten properly in like two years and he knew what he was doing. Everyone in our town knew me as raccoon because I loved the night and had been caught quite a few times rummaging through bins. If you think you fucking missed out on a delightful childhood with that piece of shite you are so wrong living here has been amazing, even if Leo is a dick but we all make mistakes. Ohhhhh I forgot the best part mum branded me with the word slut because I am one apparently and I have ied on my neck because sometimes mum would sell me to people for money to support her habits." I finished before grabbing my crutches and heading out back to have a smoke.
I stood alone for about one hour before a car pulled into the path, it was Dani and Chris my brothers must have figured I am still injured.
"All done Lexi there is a bandage on your back and some tape on your shoulder which is just something to do with the muscle in your shoulder get Liam or Louis to help you change the bandage they both have first aid training." Chris said as Dani joined me having a smoke, he just wanted to check on me. When he turned to me I was crying he hadn't even seen me cry before so he was absolutely shocked, once Chris was definitely finished Dani picked me up like a koala and took me to the living room where he sat me in between Laurence and Louis.
Laurence was the first to act he picked me up and sat me on his knee so my legs where on Louis' lap.
Dani waved goodbye before walking out of the house and I just lay happily in Ren's hold, this is why I missed them.
"I missed you Ren, I love you." I said into his ear.
"I love you too, glad it wasn't just me that missed you." He chuckled placing a kiss on my forehead.
"Go to sleep sis you're tired we will be here when you wake up" Liam said from across from us as he watched me try and stay awake.
And that was how I let one of my many walls down and felt some weight lift, letting myself sleep around people is hard but this is the Italian mafia I am safe finally.
Maybe this is what family is meant to be like.