Tomboy ~ Editing

Chapter 24-Living Again

I fell in and out of a painful sleep. The empty throbbing pain in my stomach wouldn't sober. When I woke, Leo and I were lying on a unknown bed. I looked over at his sleeping form and fought back tears, I killed our baby. I wiggled out of the bed, and hissed at the sting that rocked through my body as I stood. I walked slowly towards a room that I could see a tub and sink. I assumed it was a bathroom.

I walked to the sink and looked in the mirror. And looked at my tarnished face. My eyes seem dull and sunken in. My lips faded and chapped, dry blood crusted on to the side of my head. I sigh, closing my eyes and shake my head. I made sure the door was closed, removed my ruined shirt and drew a bath.

I slipped in and sunk down deep. Enjoying the warmth of the water. I tried my best to avoid my neck, not wanting to contaminate my mark anymore. I washed my hair and gently scrubbed my face. I rubbed the soap all over my body trying to clean myself. I shaved and carefully climbed out of the tub. I brushed my teeth not just once but 4 times. I heard the bed springs crunch under leo's moving body. I wrap my towel around me tighter and waddle out of the room and back to the bedroom. I see a suit case under the bed and grab some more pj's. Careful not to scrape my cuts and burns.

I crawl into bed beside Leo snuggling up beside him. He cocoons me with his arms. I didn't even realize he was watching me until now. I lock eyes with him, our faces inches apart. I feel my breathing hike up and my eyes get blurry. I try to blink away my tears and Leo leans forward and kisses my cheek. A tear slips out of my eyes and lands on the pillow. I watch it was it expands and sinks in to the fabric.

"Ryan..." he murmurs and stops staring at my neck. I hold my breath watching his reaction to my burned and ripped up mark.

"I tried to stop them.... Leo.... The baby" I start and then a lump forms in my throat so I need to stop. More tears run down my cheeks.

"They're dead now, they can't hurt you" he says pulling me against him.

"But the baby...." I say

"What about the baby?" He asks softly. My heart breaks for him not knowing that my stomach is void of all life

"It died" I sob and his body goes rigid. I hear his heartbeat pulse faster.

"No...no it's fine, it has to be fine." he says taking his hand and rubbing aorund my stomach lightly. I can hear panic in is voice. I cry silently now. We both are. No one says anything as we strain our ears to hear a small heartbeat, that I know slipped away.

I've never seen Leo cry before. Ever. I looked up to meet his eyes and there were tears lightly spilling over wetting his dark lashes and racing each other own his cheeks. I lean up and give him a kiss.

"I love you" I whisper closing my eyes and listening to his steady heart beat and his uneven breathing.

"I love you too.... " he whipsers just as softly.

"One day we will try again.... You would have been a great Daddy" I choke at the end. I feel his body shake under me as silent sobs wrack his body. I let myslef cry too. Together we mourn the death of a baby we never got to hold. Never heard cry. Never watched grow up. Never heard laugh. Never kissed nor hugged.

"Leo... I need to go and see Jason" I say after we had finish our crying. I was dry, fresh out of tears. He pulls me close and kisses my fourhead.

"I just got you back" he says sadly

"It will hurt me if I don't go and see him soon" I whisper trying to keep my voice calm. He nods holding me as I do what I need to do.

The tunnel wasn't breathtaking nor enticing . It was dull and boring. I landed in a thud on the ground as my legs gave out underneath me. I forced myself to stand. Looking around the empty woods.I see no life, just death. Clara lying on the ground. My dead brother standing with his back to me. The sky is grey and murky, the tree's even look lifeless.