[Moreid] The journey of finding a home

6.7

It wasn't an "I hate you" that Spencer spits out when he gets overwhelmed or something doesn't go his way.

It was an "I hate you" that took a long time to think about, that he planned on saying, that he really feels and when Derek washes the shampoo of his back that evening and lets his hands run through his hair he knows how much it exhausted Spencer to say what he did in front of the team.

Hotch didn't say anything to his defense while Emily got up from the table promising him that no matter how bad she wanted to she did not do that and that she has the security footage of the gym she was ad and the one from the office to prove it if he doesn't believe her.

"Did you plan on asking them that today?" Derek asks when he turns of the shower.

"Yes"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Emily is one of your best friends. I didn't want you to talk me out of it." Derek holds his hand out and helps Spencer out of the bathtub and grabs his towel. "Are you mad?"

"No"

"Promise?"

"I promise you I am not mad. It was good you spoke up." Slowly a smile forms on Spencer's face. "Is that why you drank?"

"I hoped I would be more brave."

"Did you like drinking?"

"I liked the drink Emily made."

"Well that's a start. I am sure they will let you join their cocktail nights." Now there is a full smile on his face. "You just have to ask."

"They do girls nights."

"They will make an exception for you."

"Really?" Spencer sits down on the edge of the bathtub while Derek gets the hairdryer. "Without you?"

"You can go out without me. I do stuff with my friends without you sometimes." Spencer has a slight frown on his face while Derek dries his hair and when he is done he asks.

"What's your friends name? The one you were at over the last weeks a couple of times in the evening?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"You just never told me."

"Just some people I train with sometimes."

"That sounds fun." He lies and waits for Derek to hand him his clothes. "Can I meet them?"

"We will see okay?" He leans down giving Spencer a kiss. "They are not really your people."

"If you meet them this often they probably need to have similarities if you can stand them as much as me."

"No one has similarities with you, baby" Derek laughs and hands Spencer his shirt next. "I've got the only one."

"That's not a nice thing to say."

"Why?"

"I am not that different from others. I don't want to be."

"No I know I didn't mean it that way." He watches Spencer for a moment and then continues. "I will invite them over okay?"

"To our house-" The younger man stops himself putting his hands over his mouth and walking a few steps back tears forming in his eyes.

"It's okay, it's okay, that slipped out it's okay." Derek puts the tooth brush and paste of his hands and approaches him. "You are allowed to say that.Its my house on paper - yes. But you have practically been living here too." Slowly Spencer let's himself slide to the ground, shielding his head with his hands. "I am not mad, I promise you." He sits down with a distance from him and waits for Spencer to calm down and then he shyly grabs his socks and goes on with his routine and when he goes to bed a few minutes later, Derek tugs him in placing the stuff animals on the right spot.