Unfamiliarity | Wilhemina Venable

part eleven| questions

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We both immediately pulled away as soon as we heard the cane hit the ground. Wilhemina was standing in the doorway. She looked as if someone had just shot her, which i'm pretty sure I just did, right in the heart.

My pulse was rising as I stared at her with a worried face. I'd completely forgotten about Nora as if she ceased to exist. I stood up as I watched tears start to form in Wilhemina's eyes.

"Mina.." I whispered.

"Don't call me that." was all she said before slamming the door and walking away.

I stood there trembling and unable to retain a single thought. My head was spinning and my heart was thumping. What have I done?

Nora stood next to me and had the nerve to start rubbing my back.

"What the hell are you doing!?" I boomed, slapping her hand away.

"I just- I"

"You know what, don't speak. I don't wanna hear a word." I began scolding her. "Do you realize what you've done? Why the fuck would you do that when you were fully aware Wilhemina and I are together!?"

"I just wanted to see what it felt like." she spoke quietly, lowering her head to the floor.

"Some FUCKING EXCUSE." I scoffed.

I wanted nothing more than to punch Nora in the face as I saw tears start to roll down her cheeks.

"I'm calling you a cab. I want you to leave." I spoke sternly.

I gripped Nora's wrist and led her down the stairs outside where I hailed a cab for her.

"I'm sorry." was the last thing she said before shutting the door, and driving away.

God what the hell have I done. I've ruined everything. I finally had a beautiful girlfriend who I love more than anything, and now she's gone. Even after promising myself I wouldn't lose her.

I didn't know what to do. Should I call Wilhemina? Should I just leave her alone to let her blow off steam? Have we broken up? All I wanted to do was explain everything to her, explain that I didn't even know Nora would do something like that. And what the fuck was that? Why would she do something like that when I thought she was actually my friend?

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I hadn't done anything for the rest of the night, not even slept. I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried. There were no thoughts in my head besides the inner voice telling me how much I screwed up. Everything felt still, and it was silent apart from the fan in the corner making white noise. It felt like my life that was once a beautiful book, is now merely a blank page desperately waiting for something to be written on it. Who knew my life would revolve around someone I had just met a week ago.

I stared at the ceiling for some time until the sun eventually came up. Usually sunrises put a smile on my face, but all I could think about was Wilhemina isn't here to watch it with me. It was beautiful sunrise too; full of bright hues of pink and blue, yet all it did was make me frown.

Nonetheless I sat up from my bed and slowly made my way into the kitchen. The room was full of furniture and messy decor, yet it felt empty. It felt like how I used to feel as a kid, when my parents would tell me they had to leave for another job, and I would be left with a new nanny. All I wanted was to be close to my parents, but I would always end up sitting in the corner of my room and reading books to escape reality.

After staring at the pantry for some time and contemplating what I should eat, I realized I wasn't hungry. Nothing looked appetizing. I closed the pantry and looked to my side, there was an unopened pack of cigarettes on the counter. I wasn't a smoker but I did occasionally when things got hectic and I needed a break from life. I must've bought those cigarettes just before starting my job and never opened them.