Kisame and Kakuzu x Reader | Headcanons

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by goddess-of-green

by goddess-of-green

Requests: May i request kisame and kakuzu w/ a s/o who eats like a lil hobbit? They are munching on food all the time and fit new ways to make amazing fod even tho the ingredient lists are running short. They have multiple meals thruout the day like they get breakfast, brunch, lunch, 12'o clock's, afternoon tea/snack, dinner, supper, midnight snack lmao.

Warnings: Language, mentions of violence

⌦ Kakuzu

⟳ Kakuzu doesn't really mind your constant snacking, it doesn't seem to inhibit your fighting ability, and you know how to eat chips and be quiet at the same time, unlike Hidan

⟳ He's pleased that you're so good with food, too

⟳ It's an efficient way to save money because you could literally make a full course meal from scraps

⟳ Though sometimes, regardless of your actual size, people will call you something derogatory like "fatass" because of how much you eat

⟳ And let me tell you Kakuzu will rock their shit

⟳ He thinks your compulsive eating tendiences can get to be a lot sometimes but you've shown no resulting health issues and it doesn't really affect him besides occasionally waking him up in the middle of the night with your midnight snacking so he's ultimately fine with it

⟳ He doesn't say it often but he loves you, despite your obsession with food which sometimes he even thinks of as a plus

⌦ Kisame

⟳ Kisame loves your eating habits oh my goodness gracious

⟳ He is right there snacking with you

⟳ You must have some sort of wicked digestive system to not get sick and Kisame can eat just as much as you simply due to the way his body works

⟳ He never has to worry about unsatisfied cravings with you ever because you've always either got food on you or you're able to whip something beautiful up practically from thin air

⟳ If anyone were to insult you because of your eating habits Kisame would be right there behind you, backing you up

⟳ Literally, he'll stand menacingly over your shoulder and scare whoever that jackass is away immediately

⟳ And if Kisame's presence alone doesn't get someone off your back, well...I don't think I have to spell out what happens next...

⟳ Sometimes you might wake him up at night with your cravings but he doesn't mind, in fact he'll ask you to get some for him too