The albatross journey

33 - Istanbul

Sanem

Almost a month has already passed since my departure, a month in which, incredibly, I have found a life that suits me perfectly and what I need right now.
I am excited about the work, I like the lively and creative atmosphere at Hyal Etmek and the team is made up of professionals with a cheerful and cooperative attitude. Hakan came to Ankara about ten days after I arrived, and this time has been useful for me to get to know the people I will be working with from now on, and to study current and upcoming campaigns so that I am fully operational when he arrives.

It's exciting to work with him, he's a very practical person with great organisational skills, he manages to bring out the best in each of his collaborators and I think he's doing it wonderfully with me too, I feel fully involved in the work we're doing and very lucid in the graphic and stylistic choices we're making.

His attitude towards me is very professional but at the same time he has retained that vein of irony and camaraderie that has always existed between us, we get on very well together, I feel at ease with him because I feel I can relax and be myself in any situation. He is more than fair to me, just once, while we were having a quick lunch in a restaurant near the agency, he mentioned that if things had been different we could have been a great couple together in every way.

I couldn't help but look down and be honest with him - If I hadn't met that man who knows, maybe it would have been possible, but from our first meeting I realised that there could never be anyone else for me but him. Things didn't work out and I had to accept it in spite of myself, but I'm aware that I'm a person who gives her heart only once in her life and unfortunately it has already happened, albeit with the wrong person it seems -

- Is it possible that it just can't work out between you? It's clear that you're not happy without him, why did you give up? -

- Because there can't be anything more, he has hurt me too much and I would never again be able to trust him enough to open my heart to him again with the risk that, at the first difficulty, he might turn his back on me again and leave me. The first time was a feral blow that almost destroyed me, if he did it again I couldn't bear it, it would destroy me -

- And do you think that missing someone for life is better than RISKING to suffer again? Don't you think that maybe you're preventing yourself from being truly happy Sanem? I don't want to be inappropriate, but I have got to know you and I like you, you are an exceptional person and, if I didn't know that you are also too loyal in your feelings towards that man who hurt you so much, I would try to make you change your mind and I would want you for myself.
But it seems I'm too late and I'll have to get used to it.
But I'll tell you this, don't give up on love for fear of suffering again, it's clear that you're already suffering so try to understand that perhaps you're unnecessarily preventing yourself from loving just for fear of something that might not happen if the man you love, as you told me, regrets what he did to you -

I shook my head saying that it can't be anymore, now everything has been destroyed by what happened and I can't trust him anymore, now I just want to think about my career and my new life which is turning out to be much better than I could have expected, I'm happy to be in Ankara, my new home and the job at Hyal Etmek.

I like this agency, I like this job more and more and I love Dilara, I instinctively liked her and with time a good friendship is developing between us. She's very different from me in many ways, with her breathtaking physique, provocative clothing, winking gaze, but at the same time she's a fun girl who manages to make everyone love her for her straightforward manner and witty wit. She knows everything about everyone and is famous in the agency for her passion in constantly playing the paraninfo between colleagues and friends, trying to encourage even the most unlikely love affairs. She is an incurable romantic who tries to hide this characteristic behind a superficial and playful attitude.

I am happy to have someone like her around, a new friend in a new city and a new life. I miss my home, my family, the people in the neighbourhood and my friend Ayhan, I miss everything, but luckily the house I have chosen for myself helps me every day to find the peace and balance I need to cope with all these changes and at the same time it helps me to heal my poor wounded heart which, despite everything, is still bleeding.

I am on my way back to Istanbul to be at home next to Layla for Emre's official request for her hand in marriage. I can't help but feel a weight on my heart at the thought of how I had dreamed of one day opening the door of my house to find the other of the Divit brothers on the doorstep with flowers and chocolates, but that's life, what should not have been did not happen.

I just have to be strong, to see him once again on this special occasion for my sister and her brother and then put a tombstone on our story and forget forever his name and his face, which I will probably never see again if I decide to stay in Ankara for good.

I land in Istanbul two days later on a sunny September morning and I am greeted by the frenzy of that airport that I have learned to detest, the streets invaded by traffic and then the familiarity of the neighbourhood and of my home are however capable of quickly restoring peace to my restless soul at the idea of what awaits me the next day, it will not be easy for me to pretend nothing is wrong when I see him again, that's for sure.

It's good to hug my parents and my sister again, it's good to see Ayhan and the conviviality of lunch at the Aydin house. The day passes in a whirlwind of kisses and hugs from all the neighbours, who take turns ringing the doorbell to greet me as if I had been away for years.

For the evening Layla has organised a dinner out with me and Ayhan, she wants a girl's time before the big event the following evening and she wants it to be dinner in a very exclusive club in the city. We carefully prepare ourselves for a different evening, I really need to have some fun after so much time focused only on work and the sadness that has invaded me since I lost the man of my life.

We're ready, we look amazing and Ayhan is also elegant as I've never seen her before, we get into the taxi and while we're driving through the city streets I feel a blow to my heart when I see something unexpected, I can't believe my eyes, I didn't imagine that the campaign was already ready to be published.

Fikri Harika apparently worked in record time and now all the streets of Istanbul are plastered with billboards featuring my design, 'Obsession' and the slogans I came up with when I was with them as creative director are everywhere I look and this fills me with a deep sense of pride. Can respected all the parameters I chose for this campaign and made it exactly as I envisioned it and presented it to HXC Cosmetics.

We arrive still struggling to contain my excitement for what I have seen and for what it means to me, it is a great satisfaction to have shown everyone that my idea was a winner and to know that Fikri Harika has been able to thrive thanks to my contribution.

It is with these thoughts buzzing in my mind that I pass through the sliding doors of the venue where Layla has booked only to find myself catapulted as if by magic into my "Obsession" project. Everywhere I turn there are the images that I have designed and created, the place is packed with people and I struggle to realise what is going on until my heart skips a beat when I see him, handsome and elegant as I have never seen him before, coming towards me as soon as I enter as if he were waiting for me.

I can't believe my eyes, what's going on? In an instant I realise, it's not just any old girls' night out, but the official presentation of the HXC Cosmetics campaign and the art director who created it is making his way through the crowd and heading straight for me.