𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨, 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙝 𝙧𝙪𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙
𝙤𝙝 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝
𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙢 𝙗𝙤𝙢𝙗 𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙨 𝙞𝙣
𝙤𝙝 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙏𝙑 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝
𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙, 𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙣 . . .
「 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 - 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘦 」
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↷ ·˚ ༘ 💌 : 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 || 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 : ꒱
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It was a horrible, muddy day. The weather had taken a sharp turn at around halfway through the mission and it made everything a lot more difficult than it needed to be; fog hanging low and sky unclear and heavy with rain. At this point, who knows where the titans could come from? They might barrel towards them, sliding through the mud, or loom over at any angle and they wouldn't be able to see. Rain weighed down pine-green capes and trickled down shiny blades, blinked out of eyes and soaking through battle gear. It was almost washing out all the blood.
You weren't looking at him.
Levi probably should've seen it coming, when a titan came snapping its jaws in your direction. It was the usual endeavour, trying not to get killed. Every scout had to survive, heavy with the cold truth, the information that every time they rode out from those walls, the most important ones in their lives may not return with them. Or they won't return. A horrific cycle, and do you see how the scouts are mocked by the cowards in the other regiments? Military Police were the worst. They didn't know of the carnage experienced out here in the open fields below the sky.
So why did he make such a big deal about keeping an extra eye on you specifically, the other strongest scout in the regiment, heart rate picking up and eyes stretched wider every time death nipped you on the neck in warning. You kept coming so close to knocking on its door. You were a wild card, throwing yourself into the sea of titans and bloodshed in order to give the others a gateway forward. Levi had seen you jump off the proverbial cliff of foreboding uncertainty so many times before. Why did it get to him so much now?
Because you mattered so much. And Levi had been knee-deep in denial for so long. Consumed with stubbornness, refusing any sort of extremely deep-rooted attachment to you. He couldn't stand losing another, he thought he might just crack. But he was Humanity's Strongest, so he wouldn't be able to give up even then. After all this madness.
Levi was sure you had lost all feeling in your arms and legs with how limp you were in the titan's huge hand as it brought you sickeningly close to it' gaping, grotesque mouth. It was so close. You must have smelled the stench of the back of its mouth as you were brought further away from the open-air, eyelids drooping and pupils dull. Levi almost didn't move quick enough.
In this world, things don't last long.
It was quite morbid, but Levi was scared to love you because everyone else he'd loved before had been taken away from him. So it was easier to argue with you, to feel this hurt and brush it off just like that. He would probably lose you at some point anyway, so why did it matter how you'd interacted beforehand?
That fight hadn't been worth it.
The only thing that could make losing you worse would be fighting with you beforehand. And now it was time for Levi to be in denial of that, too. There was no way he was letting it end like this.
Just before it was over you seemed to summon some strength in your body and sliced the fingers of the titan holding you, pressing hard and using the remaining gas in the near-broken tanks to shoot away, up to safety with grappling hooks and mere scraps of power in your gear. Levi, who realized this a split-second before finishing off the titan, immediately followed after leaving the body to slump to the ground.
Blood covered your face and stained your clothes, dripping down from your forehead and painting your eyelids and nose crimson. You blinked it out of your eyes to meet steely blue pupils, staring back at you as he helped prop your back up against the tree. The branch was wide and high enough for you to be safe until backup arrived. Levi's expression was unreadable as he checked your breathing, shocked to find it was fine, and you didn't possess any injuries to vital organs or anything. You truly were skilled, he knew this. You'd just endured a lot of bloodshed to look like this. It didn't change you'd almost died.
You stared at him silently [he was the only person who wouldn't react in an awkward way to an intense stare], eyes still dullened but searching for something, scrutinizing him.
"Stay here until the other squads arrive."
"Where do you think I'm going?"
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⋆ · * . · . · * · · ───── ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ───── · + · * ✫ * ⊹
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Neither of you could remember what you'd been fighting about. It just- didn't matter. Not in comparison to all the times you nearly died. It was morning now, the sun was obnoxiously bright seeping into Levi's room. You'd come after getting checked up again; you weren't really hurt, and you somehow knew he was awake. He was. He let you in without a word.
Now you were in silence, Levi watching the sunrise with exhausted eyes and you sinking into his bed like you were trying to morph into it. It was like that fight never happened, you were both pretending so. There was no reason to dwell on petty arguments. You knew the issue. And you hoped Levi was ready to overcome it. Enough to be with you freely.
You suddenly rose up from the bed, standing slightly shakily after acting as a statue for so long [time went by quicker when you were both sleepless and exhausted], and walking in front of Levi. Your tired eyes met as you reached for his hands, willing him to stand with a half-hearted tug. He obeyed.
"Listen, you need to just..."
You didn't finish the sentence as you draped your arms around his neck, a small smile flashing across your face. His deadpan was amusing, but there was still emotion in his eyes. Only you learned to identify it. "What? Are we throwing away all our worries for the sake of a little music?"
You snickered in response, not having to make too much effort leading his hands to your waist, Levi complying without another complaint. "No music. Just this." You two swayed together, the dawn light making you silhouettes. The outside world was so pretty. Maybe you'd get to view it peacefully one day. "I don't wanna fight." You sighed in a weary voice, letting your head drop onto Levi's shoulder as your eyes succumbed to the tiredness and closed. Levi was silent.
He knew you were right. His worries were real, but at the end of the day... he should just enjoy the small moments together.
"Yeah. Just don't get yourself fucking killed."
"Don't worry, I'm one of the best." Your chuckles echoed in the room as Levi softened his words by resting his head against your shoulder, eyes finally sliding shut as he accepted the need to rest.
Maybe he didn't have to prepare himself to lose you so soon after all.
