The Invitation lh

All Eyes On Me

Trigger Warning: Self Harm and mentions of Sexual Assault
I just started writing this after the idea popped into my head so lemme know if you like. Feel free to give me feedback !

Ronan

It had been about 2 weeks since my conversation with Luke in the store. I still don't know how to feel about it.

It's been 2 years since he decided to very kindly curb stomp my heart.

I wish there was more to it than just wishing for him to come back.

I know it's unrealistic but I loved him and I still care about him.

Even if he did me dirty, for him I'd do anything.

I'd die for him but I know he wouldn't do the same.

I was on FaceTime with Calum listening to him ramble on about ways to get a fake ID.

Apparently his mom has a hot friend but she won't give him a second glance considering he's a child LOL.

I've listened to him complain about this woman for nearly a year. He likes her so much but she says it's already over.

Apparently she's got a tattoo in a scandalous area and he fantasizes about getting to it.

I just smile and nod most of the time.

He says he tells me this stuff because 'I'm a woman and Mikey doesn't know what the hell he's talking about' but I know the real reason, it's because Mikey teases him about it and he wants to talk about it with someone who won't make fun of him.

I always end up trying to help him in someway but he never takes my advice.

I honestly think he just wants someone to gush about it to.

I don't mind, if I had someone I liked a lot, I'd wanna gush about them a lot without being made fun of too.

Which makes my mind drift back to Luke. I really really miss him.

I miss his cuddles, I miss him staying over, I miss watching mean girls with him even though we've seen it 100 times before.

I miss out conversations and how we'd tell each other everything. I miss my best friend.

The one who I didn't even really realize I fell for until after he left my life.

"Ronan ? Ronan ? Earth to Ronan-" Calum says as he waves a hand in front of the camera to try and get my attention.

I look at him, snapping out of my trance. "What ?" I say trying to act as if I wasn't just totally spacing out on him.

"I was trying to tell yo- why are you crying ?" He asks looking concerned.

I furrow my brows and touch my face. Sure enough, there was wetness on my cheeks. I hadn't even noticed them.

"Oh I don't know- hm that's weird." I reply, shrugging. "Wait a minute- this isn't over-" he tries to say.

"Look Cal, I gotta go. I'll call you back later. Best of luck to you with your moms friend." I say quickly, ending the call before he can get the chance to respond.

I run a hand through my hair. I turn on some music and listen to it as a way to calm my nerves.

I wonder how I didn't notice I was crying when I was thinking of Luke.

But I guess if you're not paying attention you won't notice the little things.

I always payed attention to Luke. Maybe not always to what he said which now thinking back on it, I wish I did more often.