The Invitation lh

The Pain In My Eyes Doesn't Compare To The Pain In My Heart

Ronan

I walk down the hallways and hear the same shit that I always hear, three months later they're all still talking about my alleged sex tape.

It's getting old.

And I still feel trapped.

Calum and Mikey have been a great help in making me feel better but the happiness is always temporary, the pain finding it's way back. I try so hard not to cut.

The pain in my eyes doesn't compare to the pain I feel in my heart. I've carried this pain for two years. The fact that it's resurfacing is truly heartbreaking.

I have to live through the worst year of my life all over again.

I've really been wanting to cut but I'm trying my hardest not to. I just wish my mom were here. She'd know what to do.

The classes all being the same stares, whispers, stuff thrown at me. It's the same shit but a different day.

I just can't wait for graduation in a couple of of months. I keep my head down and do my work and I just might make it to graduation.

The thoughts of Luke linger like always. He's biting his lip in concentration as he stares at the phone in front of him wincing every now and again.

I caught a glimpse of what he watching, it's the video of me. I look at him until he meets my eyes and I immediately shake my head, my lip quivering.

"I can't believe you're seriously watching that." I mutter barely even loud enough for him to hear. But he does.

"It was sent to me this morning. I'm no genius but it doesn't look like you're enjoying it, or even conscious for that matter-" he says as he put the pieces together himself.

"Yeah well if you ask the entire football team I'm sure they'll all tell you I did." I said shaking my head as angry tears threaten to fall. I get up and walk out.

. . .

Luke Hemmings was the boy who had a huge glow up over the summer, he knocked the socks off every girl he walked past.

His lip ring and the way he bit it made girls swoon. He wasn't a bad guy, he just made some mistakes is all.

He gave up his best friend for a shit ton of fake ones just to be popular. Even though he did miss her a lot.

He saw her at the party sophomore year, he thought she looks really beautiful. But of course he couldn't tell her that.

He saw a glimpse of her leaving the party that night, thinking nothing of it.

He noticed her hair was chopped and bleached the up coming Monday.

He again thought she looked beautiful but something was off.

He knew his best friend even if they weren't friends anymore,

He could sense sadness and pain in her green eyes as they locked for a few seconds that same day, a few moments after Calum complimented her.

She looked broken.

The days following and years after, he still found her stunning and found himself missing her all the time but he was too caught up in the fun and the endless girls and parties to be there for her in her worst moments.

He knew her mom died but couldn't build up the courage to go. So he let her deal with it alone.

His friends were assholes to her and he was too but only usually when his friends were around.

He had to keep up the front if he wanted to keep his reputation.

His girlfriend Sara, was Perfect. Bleach blonde hair, brown eyes, freckles, beautiful tan skin, not even a blemish could be seen.

She was Flawless.

But she could get annoying sometimes.

Sara noticed how Luke looked at Ronan so she decided to take matters into her own hands.

She couldn't have the hottest boy in school leave her for Ronan.

Her plan was evil, she knew that but she didn't care. She thought she'd show Luke just how much Ronan was a worthless whore.

It wasn't supposed to get out to everyone but she didn't care because that just meant everyone knew how much of a whore Ronan was.

She didn't even love Luke, she was only with him because he was eye candy and she knew he was what all girls wanted.

She's seen the way Ronan has looked at Luke and she didn't like it one bit. So she came up with a solution.

At first the rumors spread like wildfire. And Ronan was called a slut and a whore amongst other profanities.

But Luke still didn't really look at her differently. After 2 years of the same old same old.

She wanted to make Luke see Ronan how she did.

For 2 years the only people who had the videos were the people involved, but that wasn't enough for Sara.

So she sent them to everyone. Except Ronan of course.

She watched as Ronan ran out crying countless times and she loved it.

But the only reason Luke couldn't look Ronan in the eye after watching the video because he knew it wasn't right to have watched it in the first place.

And he knew it was old.

The night of the party she went to because of her clothes and the fact that her long chocolate locks were still there.

She hadn't grown her hair out since. She kept it short.

He felt really bad for Ronan right then and there.

But he couldn't help but watch the video one more time because there was just something so off about it.

He just couldn't shake the feeling.

Her eyes were closed the whole time and she had no facial movements.

He was suspicious but he wasn't there so he didn't know what really went on.

Maybe Ronan just wasn't the girl he once knew.