Love & Ruins (#2)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Six: Maggie

You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.

Those were the words that ran through my head as I watched Evan pace back and forth around the apartment, getting ready for his date with Alyssa.

When he told me about his plans, I felt like I was digging my own grave, I couldn't escape the inevitability of knowing about it. As soon as Evan walked into the apartment, there was that silent communication.

I knew I would've been better off not knowing. That was the only way I could've preserved my pride but of course, some sadistic part of me wanted to know.

I wanted to know not because I was curious, but because I wanted to look like I was supportive of his decision, not begrudging of it. The same way a teenage girl encourages her crush to pursue another person just to deny herself what is true;

That she's so extremely, irrevocably in love with him, and because of that, he deserves someone else.

So me being the idiot that I am, I asked him "So? What did she say?"

Fast forward to now, my eyes flicker back and forth between the laptop situated on my lap to his slightly agape bedroom door, pretending to be just as preoccupied knowing what lies ahead once he exits the apartment.

Maybe if I had known what my staying here at his place entailed, I never would've agreed. Even if I came across as brazen in my refusal, I would've stayed the fuck away, because yes, living here, I was treated kindly.

For the first time, I'm in a healthy environment. I no longer woke up to the sound of my father shouting at one of his employees before I went to class, and I no longer had to sit through dinner enduring my father's ridiculing, as Levi sat across from me, staying silent with no intention of defending my honor.

Instead, I woke up to the smell of brewed coffee in the morning, Evan waiting for my alarm to go off before he made breakfast so as not to wake me up, then coming back home with him waiting for me and asking me how my day was, as opposed to a silent house.

For once, someone asked me how I was doing, how I was feeling, and if I was tired, greeted me with good morning and good night. I've been cared for here, and I was finally around the presence of a person whose company didn't suffocate me.

I was free to come and leave as I pleased, that was made clear the second I moved in and I'll forever thank Evan for helping me in my darkest of hours, and lowest of points.

However, the universe had to be fair, it offered me a glimpse of a life I knew would be forever out of reach. An ideal.

Against my better judgment, my eyes drifted upward to the sound of Evan leaving his room, clad in a pair of dark slacks and a red button-down. His hair is nicely combed, and from where I sat, the smell of his cologne permeated my nostrils.

It's unlike the older scents he's worn, he prefers the smell of Le Labo's Santal 33; said he likes it due to the notes of iris and cedarwood. It's his favorite and even wore it on our first date.

But this one's different. Probably bought it recently to give a good first impression, and make it seem like he made the effort. It's considerate, it's ideal.

He's clean-shaven, and when he turns to look at me, he smiles with his teeth showing, and I can't help it as my heart skips a beat.

"You look nice," I told him, gripping the side of my laptop as I stared up at him with a tight smile "Gonna leave soon?"