Love & Ruins (#2)

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Two: Evan

I leave her alone.

I try not to ask her why it took her so quickly to come back as soon as she left the apartment, and how she went from turning against me to running back into my arms as if we hadn't emerged from a massive showdown of who can hurt the other person the most.

It's safe to say she won, but of course, no amount of pain that I carry will ever be able to overshadow the endless forgiveness I've reserved for her in my heart.

It's pathetic, but when I saw the way she looked at me as though I was the only one she could run to for stability, I couldn't have it in me to deny her the help she needed.

She was crying so hard I thought she was going to pass out, but I just sealed my lips shut and let her cry on my shoulder until she eventually cooled down. Now, leaning against the door frame of my bedroom, I watched as Maggie snored peacefully on my bed.

Her eyes were still swollen, but she looked at peace, the same way she did the night before when we slept together for the first time.

I let myself ponder if it's always going to be this way. Back then, when we were teenagers, being reckless and running away from our problems felt so thrilling, having that "It's you and me against the world." mentality, because, for a brief moment in time, I truly believed we were unstoppable.

But perhaps this is what Maggie was trying to tell me when she said we can't run away forever, because looking at it now from the perspective of an adult who wants to know where the future lies and not from the perspective of a teenage boy who thinks he can have it all... I must say the thrill of ambiguity has long since faded.

As I stared at the girl in front of me, with her brown hair resting in waves on the bed we'd made love in, and how I want nothing more but to wake up to this sight for the rest of my life, I realized that if the destination is worth it, the drive is going to take long.

But Jesus Christ, this road hasn't been fucking easy.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to see that I got a text from Alyssa "Hey, you alright? You haven't reached out since our date." her message read, and it felt like a punch to the gut when I realized I abandoned her to be by Maggie's side.

"I'm so sorry," I said, trying to conjure up a believable explanation as to why I went mute after a successful night out with her, but all that came to mind was "Something just came up,"

Before I got the chance to elaborate, Maggie suddenly stirred in my bed. I quickly pushed myself off the door frame and rushed to her side "Hey," I said, my voice soft.

She rubbed her eyes and looked up at me, dazed "Have I been out for long?"

I shook my head, smiling "Two hours. Sleep more, it looks like you need it."

She scrunched her nose "No, I think I'm fine." I sat beside her and swept the strands of hair that fell to her eyes, as she tilted her head at my actions.

I pulled back "I'm sorry," I mumbled as she let out a chuckle.

"What's to be sorry for?" she asked as she put her head on my shoulder "For being too good?"

For not knowing my limits when it comes to you, I thought. Then again, I should feel more sorry for myself about that.

I placed an arm around her shoulder and she instantly leaned into my touch "Are you going to tell me about what happened?" I asked as she kept her eyes down, fidgeting with the ends of my shirt as she shakes her head.