Shades of You & I (An Interracial Romance)

Chapter 43

I woke up the next morning groaning as I stretched. My body was sore and I didn't even know why. Oh right. Maybe because when I got home last night I sat by my window in the fetal position, staring out the window.

I didn't even remember falling asleep again, I just happened to wake up around 4 in the morning and got up to lie down on the bed. I didn't dream last night, which I was grateful for.

Hunter's words repeated in my head from my last dream, "Why did you do this to me?"

Why did I do this to him?

I know it was only a dream, but I felt like it had to mean something. I promised that I would love him and that we would fight for each other. Only I was the one who left when the going got tough.

I hate this feeling. I hate feeling this way because I know I only feel this way because of what's happened.

What if this accident didn't happen? Would I still feel that way? Perhaps I would feel less guilty. It just hurts badly when you know why someone has been drinking so heavily. But I know I would do whatever I can do to get him to stop.

Maybe the two of us can work something out and get past all of this mess. Maybe we can come to terms and just end things but not on such a harsh level.

Hunter deserves better than me. He deserves someone who can actually be there through the toughest moments and not constantly make him angry. Maybe then I would feel better.

Maybe then I can learn to accept that things happen and not always end the way you want them to. But I was going to be there for him and I needed to talk to him as soon as possible.

I got up around 7, my body unable to go back to sleep. I decided to take a shower and get ready in case Nick calls. I checked my phone but there were no missed calls or texts from Nick.

I had a bunch of missed calls and texts from Matt, though. He was begging me to call him back and to talk to him but I just left the messages alone. I would speak to him when I was ready. I was still upset that he thinks it's wrong for me to go and see Hunter.

When I got home last night, my mom interrogated me with questions about Hunter and I told her all that I knew. I didn't tell her about what Mark said because she wouldn't let me go back to the hospital if I did. Plus, she would probably give him a piece of her mind and I didn't want them fighting. Because seriously, my parents do not play games when to comes to me and Kyle.

I take a quick shower and make my way back into my room to try to rest for a little while longer. But the moment my body begins to actually relax, my door opens and not only do I see my mother, but my father as well.

Uh oh. Was I in trouble?

"Hey," My mother smiles and makes her way over to me. I sit up and make room for the both of them to sit down. My mother takes a seat beside me and my father sits on the chair at my desk. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"What time are you going to the hospital?"

"I don't know. I'm waiting for Nick to call me." I shrug.

"Did he stay over at the hospital?"

"I think so."

"Oh." She says. "Well I'm more than sure Hunter is doing okay."

"Yeah, he's with his family now. He should be good."

"You don't sound very happy for him."

"I am happy for him. I just...I don't know...I feel a bit guilty for what happened."