Chapter Thirty-One

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On the top of an old Shield helicarrier at what must be a graveyard for the flying ship, Angel and Francis lead a bound and gagged Maze along the deck towards where there are several shipping contains are staked up haphazardly. Maze doesn't fight, instead, she is rather into it. Almost leading herself towards the scaffolding ahead.

"Put her down over here" Francis points out and Angel ties Maze up against a piece of scaffolding. "Go on then," Francis tells Angel. Angel removes the gag from Maze's mouth.

"Thanks, dickless. And I mean you" Maze winks at Francis who gives her a look back. She blows him a kiss and laughs to herself. She is enjoying this a lot. It's been so long since she's been manhandled like this. She and Wade did experiment with a kidnapping roleplay way back when she was human, that's a long time ago for her. More than 700 years. She's itching for it.

"Well. You're a talker too? You and Wade"

"I know" Maze comments dramatically. "We're a match made in hellfire" She sing-songs and smirks darkly at him. "I'm gonna gut you, you ugly fucker"

"Is that before or after I kill you?" Francis asks.

"You can't kill what's already dead" She points out. "Hoping Wade will let me get a shot in at least" She muses. "And even if Wade beats me to it, cause he will come for me...Even if he kills you, I get to play with you when your soul goes to hell" She flashes her pure white eyes at him and he steps back. "And if I'm honest..." She purrs. "I'm going to really enjoy taking you apart..." She bites her lip, shifting her legs a little. "Bit by bit...bone by bone..."

.........

Wade follows Tony through the billionaire's workshop within the Tower. He's anxious and ready to go but he knows he is going to need help. Thanks to Maze sending a warning his way, he knows that Francis is packing militia and mercenaries to take on Wade, which means he can't do it by himself. He needs the help. He needs to make up the numbers. And right now, Tony is one of the only options he has. Well, he thought he would get the Avengers, like all of them, but apparently, that's not an option.

"Just you?" Wade asks, Tony shrugs a little as he moves towards a suit set up and ready to go. Tony climbs into it, the pieces snapping around his body like a second skin.

"Everyone else has their own thing" Tony flips up the mask to talk to Wade as he moves back towards him. "So you got me and the suit or nothing" Wade clenches his jaw and then lets out an annoyed breath.

"Fine" Wade groans. "But we make a stop on the way" He's going to need to do something he never thought he would.

..............

Wade runs up to knock on the door of the Xavier School, but Negasonic opens it before he can.

"Ripley! From Alien 3!" Wade greets and then glances behind him at where the cab is waiting. Tony pulls a face from the passenger seat. He hates being a passenger. But there was no time to argue with Wade.

"Fuck, you're old," Negasonic tells him.

"Ha! Fake laugh, hiding real pain. Go get silver balls" Wade motions with his hand for her to hurry up.

"You guys going for a bite? Early bird special?" Negasonic teases.

"Oh, like there's something wrong with eating before sundown or saving money" Wade defends before he then remembers why he is here. "No, you know that bad guy that you let go? He's got my girl. You're gonna help me get her back."

"Wade, is that you?!" Colossus' voice travels from inside the huge house.

"It's me, Wade, and I got an offer that you can't refuse!" Wade shouts back. "I'm gonna wait out here, okay? Big house. It's funny that we only ever see two of you. It's almost like the studio couldn't afford another x-man" Wade comments as he steps back from the door. He's starting to panic a little. Wasting time getting help. He should have just gone straight for it.

...........

In the taxi, Dopinder is driving it along the road. Wade is in the passenger seat, Cat sat on his lap, dressed in his Deadpool suit. 'Iron Man', Colossus and Negasonic are wedged in back. Tony and Negasonic almost squashed against their windows thanks to Colossus' sheer size. There has to have been a better way to go about this.

"And that is why, in my opinion, the movie cocoon is pure pornography" Wade explains. Tony rolls his eyes from inside his helmet, thankfully using it to ignore Wade. He can see why Maze is with him. They are literally the same person. Heavens help them if they team up to go villain because that will be a mess.

"Who brought this twinkly man?" Dopinder asks Wade as he side-eyes Colossus in the rearview mirror.

"Twinkly, but deadly. My chrome-penised friend back there has agreed to do me this solid. In exchange, I told him I would consider joining his boy band"

"It's not boy band" Colossus defends.

"Sure it's not." Wade counters and looks at Dopinder. "Ah! So, any luck winning Gita back?"

"I tried to Mr Pool, but Bantu is more craftier and handsomer than me" Dopinder answers.

"Well, I think you're pretty darn cute" Wade assures him. The cab drives over a pothole and a scream can be heard from the trunk. "Dopinder"

"Hmm?"

"What was that?" Wade asks him.

"Uh, that was, uh... Bantu, in the trunk" Dopinder answers, eyes on the road ahead.

"Oh, sweet Jesus" Tony complains a little.

"Ban-who?" Colossus counters.

"My romantic rival, Bantu" Dopinder informs them. "He's tied up in the trunk. I'm doing like you said, DP. I'm going to gut him like a tenduri fish, then put his carcass on Gita's doorstep"

"I did not tell him to do that!" Wade argues, quickly trying to defend himself. "Absolutely not! It got lost in translation! Dopinder, this is no way to win Gita's heart back! (I'm so proud of you). Drop Bantu off, safe and gentle like. (Kill him). And then win Gita back! The old fashioned way, with your boyish charm. (Kidnap her)"

"He's super dead" Negasonic points out. Tony hums in agreement. But again, totally sees why he and Maze are together. Wade scratches at Cat's head and nods a little. Dopinder parks the taxi at the address Wade gave him.

"I presume a crisp high five?" Dopinder asks.

"For you? Ten!" Wade gives Dopinder a high ten. "Okay guys, let's get out there and make a difference!" He tells the others before turning back to Dopinder. "You know what to do" He and Dopinder give each other thumbs up.

"Knock 'em dead, pool boy!" Dopinder cheers as they all climb out of the cab to take on Francis and get Maze back from him.

"Time to make the chimi fucking changas" Wade rubs his hands together, getting excited. He hums to himself. "Not often a dude ruins your face, wall stomps your sanity, grabs your future baby-momma, and personally sees to four of your five shittiest moments." Tony turns to give Wade a look.

"Oh, you and Maze having kids is a bad idea" Tony points out.

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