The Red Bull Party Girl |ON HOLD|

42. The morning after

My head was pounding and my mouth felt like something had crawled into it and died. I resisted the urge to open my eyes, knowing that the daylight would make my head hurt even more. I felt like a bag of shit. How much had I drunk last night? I opened one eye first, letting it become used to the white of the ceiling and then I opened the other and groaned, lifting my hands to hold to my head. I knew I deserved to feel this bad. Then I heard movement in the room, it sounded like the quiet creak of a chair, like someone was sitting in it and had just altered their position. My eyes widened, I should be alone in this room. Please god, tell me I didn't shag Miles last night! I stared at the light fitting, trying to remember what had happened but details were very sketchy. I remembered dancing, a lot of dancing. I remembered that we'd talked a lot and laughed a lot.....hang on....this wasn't the light fitting in my room. I tensed up, I wasn't in my room. Where the fuck was I? I heard the chair creak again and I turned my head away from the direction the sound came from, I needed time to try and remember what had gone on last night before I dared to look at Miles. I must look as shocking as I feel, it's a good thing I won't see him again after this weekend, he definitely won't want to see me again when he sees how shite I look. Then my eyes settled on a black suitcase, stood against a cream coloured wall. Three familiar coloured stripes ran down it; black, red and gold. The colours of the German flag. My mouth went baron dry and my stomach began to churn with anxiety. Was I in Seb's room? And if so then how the hell did I end up in here? Letting go of my head, I forced myself to look the other way, slowly turning my head and sure enough, my bleary eyes met with the gorgeous blue hues of Seb's. For a moment I forgot to breathe as we simply looked at each other. He was staring intensely at me, his brows furrowed in a thoughtful frown and his lips slightly pouting. In spite of my banging headache I tried to read his expression; was he angry with me? Disappointed? Betrayed? Upset? I closed my eyes, I couldn't bear to look at him if he was feeling any of those things about me but after acting they way I had so soon after losing our baby, I didn't deserve anything else. The still raw feeling of loss and grief quickly reawakened and tears were soon escaping from my closed eyes. Being here with him was making it feel even sharper and more real than it had before. I had to get out of here and get back to the sanctuary of my own room as quickly as I could. I sat up and threw off the duvet. "Where's my dress?" I asked, noticing my state of undress and brushing my tears away while I got out of the bed.

"You got vomit on it." He stated simply, watching my every move as I looked around the bedroom. "I've bagged it up and sent it to be laundered."

"Oh." I stopped, suddenly feeling very naked and exposed. What the hell was I supposed to do with no dress to put on? Walk back to my hotel in just my bra and knickers?

In a quick move, Seb rose from his chair and went to the wardrobe where he soon pulled out a pair of his navy shorts and a white t-shirt which he threw onto the bed. "You'll have to wear these until you get back to your hotel."

"Thanks." I mumbled shamefully, realising that I'd got so drunk last night that I'd been sick. To give myself a minute or so away from his glare, I nipped into the bathroom. Locking the door (I wasn't going to risk him coming in) I looked at the clothing in my hands and slowly lifted it to my face. His t-shirt gave me a hit of his gorgeous scent and I was reminded once again of how much I still loved him and missed him, even though we're not together this might be another t-shirt that he doesn't get back. Lowering his clothing from my face I stood still for a moment, listening for any sounds that he might make and wondering how I ended up here. I'd been out with Miles at a nightclub, I'd not seen Seb there at all and knew he wouldn't usually go out like that on a Thursday night, it just didn't make sense. Spotting the shower I decided to strip off and jump in. Knowing that I'd been drunk and sick last night, I felt like I probably reeked of booze and vomit and it'd give me a bit more time before I had to face the person on the other side of that door.