NO DOUBT [bwwm]

• 20 • The Cycle of Life

Everything was beautiful. Everything was elegant, much to my mother's pleasure. My father would've loved it. It was romantic, but in an old fashioned way. It was simple yet impressive. The ceremony was very personal as it was only a priest, my mother, my brother, my uncle and me. We poured my father's ashes into the clear blue water of the Sant'Agostino River, named after the church that faced it. Birds were shyly chirping, you could hear crickets and the water's flow, but most importantly you could feel the peace that came with having accomplished the ritual. I silently hoped my father's soul could feel it too.

On that same Saturday night, the one before our private plane would take us back to New Jersey, I found myself alone in my apartments in our house in Rome. Since the ceremony ended, I had been into my thoughts a lot. Of course, my father was one of them, but my mind was stuck on that kiss I shared with Josie.

She was just... breathtaking. Everything she did and said had me hooked. She was something else, something I've never experienced in my life, but got quickly addicted to. I needed to kiss her, feel her, touch her. Even just to be around her was more than enough. But I fucked up. And I knew it.

'Nobody has to know'? I'd have slapped myself across the face if I were her. But she did worse, she completely ignored and avoided me the whole week. Understandably.

I tried texting her a couple of times the first days we were in Italy, but to no avail. Nevertheless, I kept hope, something in me strongly believed she would forgive me and answer my texts instead of just reading them. However, as it was almost my last day in Europe, my faith was starting to fade. Maybe she didn't want me the way that I did her? Or maybe was she less vocal about it? But why?

A knock on my door startled me, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Orlando?"

Luca didn't wait for an answer to abruptly open my bedroom door, "Jeez, Lucky, can't you wait for me to let you in?!"

He smirked, "What, you got something to hide? Old Playboy magazines I haven't already seen?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm a grown man I'm not a teenage boy, I don't need magazines to-"

"Get off?" He completed for me, which earned a sigh from me. "You might be right, I guess a thought or two about Josie is much more effective."

His last words deeply bothered me as i answered with a scowl, "What did you just say?"

He had that same playful smile has he denied, "No, noth-"

Luca didn't even have the time to finish his reply that I grabbed him by the collar and pinned him to the wall, "Don't fuck with me, Luca, I heard what you fucking said. And don't you dare talk about her that way, do you hear me?"

Out of air, he simply nodded his head, allowing me to loosen my grip around him. Once I let go, he fixed his clothes and chuckled, "I missed our little games, fratello."