NO DOUBT [bwwm]

• 29.5 • The Merry, Merry Christmas

A knock tore me away from my computer. My eyes were sore and tired from over working them. I desperately needed a break, but with everything going on with the mafia... I couldn't deal with every single update on Las Casas in person, afraid that it would raise suspicions in Josie. And even more terrified that it could lead the gang members to our location... God forbid something happened to my love, despite the dozen of bodyguards outside our property, I would hate myself forever... so I had Gino take care of the in-person business why I managed everything from a distance. I was juggling between handling shipments and managing our activities. New information was coming in at every second and the threat was becoming greater... I couldn't allow myself to slack off. Especially with my mother's words going around and around in my head. I brushed away the memory of our fight and answered, "Yes?"

Luca slid himself into the room, "Yo, Josie can cook! She keeps this going I might come around here more often."

I watched as he took a seat in front of me, on the other side of my desk, "It's too bad we're fasting."

"Since when?"

"Since now."

"You're not even funny, you know?"

I internally rolled my eyes, "How are things at the 404? Gino's telling me it's getting crowded."

"Yeah... I had to cut a couple thumbs before I came by," he kissed his teeth in annoyance. "Las Casas is just relentless. They have strength in number, if anything. We need to start thinking about making alliances."

"What they do is hire rookies to bait us. That's why I prefer we slow down for a moment. Not show that we're destabilized."

"Elijah disagrees... he's been practically collecting men from the other gang at other locations."

I frowned, irritated, "What, against my orders?"

Luca shook his head, "You know our uncle never follows rules, not even when Padre was alive. But why don't you come down there, you're the best at... you know, getting the truth out of them."

I rubbed my stubble, "Nah I can't go there. It'll be risking Josie and her safety. And I know she'll start suspecting something's wrong, I don't want her worrying over nothing."

"Well it's not nothing and it's too late." I gave him a questioning look and he explained himself, "Look, bro, if she's the one, you're gonna have to tell her about the mafia sooner rather than later. She's already going crazy worrying about your mental state. Even if you don't come clean now, talk to her, reassure her. She needs it for real."

I stayed silent a moment, processing what he was telling me. I thought I was protecting her by keeping things to myself, but it was actually the opposite. I felt so awful, I was hurting my everything. "She talked to you?"

"Yeah, but I've already said enough, you need to talk to her." I mindlessly nodded, thinking about the past week and how bad I messed up. "Ok, stop that shit. I can see the wheels turning in your head and I know you're gonna start beating yourself up for how you've been acting lately instead of focusing on what you can do which is fix things."