The Marriage Law // Remus Lupin

xliv. where we fell apart

Only when he heard the door click shut, letting him know that Aurora had gone, did Remus turn back around, staring at the empty space where she had just been. A part of him was screaming to go after her and take all of his words back, but a larger part was telling him to let her go, that she'd be better off without him there to be constantly dragging her down.

He could hear her walk down the stairs, he could hear her talking to someone, most likely Lois, and he could hear her leave. He felt his body move to sit down at the end of his bed, head back in his hands. He took deep breaths, trying to focus on the simple task, trying to drown out the noise of the others down in the kitchen, the enhanced sound of the clock ticking in the corner of his room. Breathe in, breathe out. The sound of her heartbeat rising still echoed in his ears. Breathe in, breathe out. The look of hurt on her face still fresh in his mind. Breathe in, breathe out. Her scent still filling the room, attempting to trick him that she was still there.

He was unsure how long it took him to keep his breathing steady, but it was long enough to not hear Sirius and James enter the room. "Remus." James spoke softly, moving to stand in front of him. Remus' head snapped up, meeting James' worried face.

"What happened, mate?" Sirius asked, the worry on his face nearly identical to James'.

"How do you know anything happened?"

Sirius sighed and pulled out the chair resting under the desk, facing it towards Remus. "Minus the fact that we could all hear some of it—you really need to get a permanent silencing charm on this room, by the way—,"

"Which is not the point," James cut off, the words spoken through his teeth and an accompanying glare at his friend. "Lois said Aurora left to stay with their parents for a few days. So what happened?"

Remus ran his hands through his hair, messing it up even more, and rested his elbows on his knees. "I don't want to talk about it." He huffed, hoping his friends would leave.

"No, you don't," Sirius agreed. "But if we leave you're just going to sit here and feel shit about yourself. So talk."

Remus chose not to say anything. He figured that if he kept quiet they would eventually leave as they would grow bored waiting. He should have known better than to underestimate his friend's stubbornness. Sirius sat tapping out the rhythm to a song, James sitting down next to the door in silence looking at him expectantly. "I miss Peter." Remus grumbled. Peter wouldn't do this to him. Or maybe he would, but at least he'd talk and then forget what he was waiting for.

He had almost made it 40 minutes until he cracked. "I pushed her away." He admitted, receiving groans from his friends.

"You're an absolute idiot, you are." James said at the same time a ball of paper collided with Remus' face, courtesy of Sirius.