When love by domination is not love

Chapter 1

TK groaned and arched his back. He felt himself melt in a bath of sweat and fell back onto the bed with bated breath. He turned off the TV and let the movie end on its own. He had it on the hard drive, he would have a chance to finish it when he needed it again.

Jerking off certainly wasn't the same as a good fuck. But he had just arrived in Texas and he was shy enough not to go to the first gay bar he could find and look for someone to give him what he needed.

He wiped the sweat off him with the sheet, but his body was sticky. Better take a shower, he thought as he stood. He had a night shift soon and he didn't want anyone to ask him what he had been doing.

It was too sad to say that he was so desperate for sex that he had downloaded a few porn movies.

He closed his eyes as the warm water began to run down his body and he rested his head on one of the shower tiles. Why did Alex have dump him? What did the damn trainer at the gym have that he didn't? Alex had always said it was the best sex of his life and TK knew they were perfectly compatible.

He needed someone to dominate him in bed, to take control of his body, to do to him...everything Alex had done. Although sometimes he got a little too carried away and TK ended up a little sore the next day. Nothing a little makeup couldn't hide, however, and no one in the New York firehouse had ever seemed to notice any of the little marks Alex left on him. He hadn't even brought it to his father's attention, at least as far as he knew, but he didn't dare ask.

The image of Alex made him take a hand between his legs and squeeze his member, which immediately grew hard once more. How he missed Alex's hands, his games, his toys. He brought his other hand to his ass and bit his tongue to keep from screaming. His father was at home.

Alex had given him everything he had asked for and more. He had treated him as he wanted; rough as if he was the ruler of his body. He had marked him sometimes, sometimes unintentionally, like when he left the whip mark on his back or the marks from the leather shackles on his wrists and ankles.

Alex knew how to play, he knew how to have fun, he knew how to dominate, and he knew how much TK needed to be treated like this to reach the most incredible orgasm.

And now fucking Alex had said he'd had enough of playing with him, like a kid who gets the new console at Christmas and leaves the other one tucked away in the closet.

He had done with him what he wanted, had taken him to very dark places in himself, and had promised him that everything would be all right. He had introduced him into the world of substances and together they had tried all kinds of drugs.

What a couple of scares he had given his father because he had lost control. The psychologists had told him that he was addicted, that he had problems with depression, but with the right person by his side to help him control himself, that wouldn't happen.

Alex had been his balance and the moment he had kicked him in the ass he had lost it. It hadn't been his intention to almost get out of the way, he’d thought he had the right knowledge about the number of pills that would make him feel better, but he had been wrong and almost ended up in the other world.

His father had also been great support all his life and still was. But try as he might he didn't understand the kind of relationship that TK was looking for in someone else, or that someone like Alex had given him and what he now missed so much.