When love by domination is not love

Chapter 03

TK felt like a complete fool.

He could hardly sleep that night when he got home after the ridiculous thing he had done with Carlos. He could only imagine what the cop thought of him.

It wouldn't be much different than what other guys already thought when they had fucked him one night and then never called him again. At least Carlos had had the finesse to make it clear to him what he wanted from the start, which in his case, wasn't a fuck and that was it.

The bad thing was that he couldn't get the cop-out of his mind, it was like a new addiction. His mouth, his hands, his body, his smell, his movements on him, against him. Having sex with him once had been enough for him to know that he could give him everything he needed.

His voice in his ear, telling him. "Cum now" still made him shudder. But then he'd cooked him the damn dinner-why had he had to spoil it like that? Although when he got into bed that night, it wasn't clear to her who had really screwed up; Carlos for preparing something so intimate or TK for assuming the cop was going to give him the same thing.

He decided not to contact him again, better if he never saw him again, at least personally. If they met on any outings, it was something TK couldn't avoid, but he could try to stay away from him.

He had to get Carlos out of his mind before his head and parts of his body exploded.

But his brain had decided to contradict him and for the next three nights after dinner, every time he managed to get some sleep between shifts; Carlos always appeared in his dreams, in every possible way, but each time more hot, attractive, and... naked. Why did he have to keep Carlos in his dreams? Why did he have to dream of Carlos' body in all the more or less sexual ways possible?

The worst was waking up in the barracks, covered in sweat, breathing hard and desperate to have sex, with whomever, however, wherever, he just needed sex or something like it.

That third night he couldn't take it anymore. He was stressed, overwhelmed, desperate because no one understood him because he couldn't tell anyone what he needed to feel good. Everyone thought his problem was one of attitude, of the city kid who didn't want to live in Austin and his father feared it was because he wanted to drink again.

No, he didn't want to drink, and he didn't want to live in New York, he just wanted someone to put him in his place, someone to control him, to give him a sense of belonging. And it wasn't having a boyfriend that was going to do it. He didn't want a boyfriend as her father told her to look for. He didn't want to go to the movies, she didn't want romantic dinners. TK wanted a man who would make her feel protected.

And apparently, Austin only had a couple of venues that came close to what he wanted, only they didn't accept gay men and if he looked around, he would only end up getting in trouble with someone dangerous.

He was so frustrated with himself that he had already fought with half the barracks and after nearly coming to blows with Judd over the windmill nonsense... It had been reckless, he knew, but it had ended well, so it was nothing to get upset about.

But Tk knew he had to let off steam, release the tension he felt inside, and if not with sex as he wished he would have to do it some other way, hoping his father wouldn't find out. The last thing he needed was his father's scolding.

So he went to the farthest bar he could find, where it was safe and easy to find trouble.

When he walked in he found just the kind of people he was looking for; bikers, tough guys who only had to look directly at them for you to get in trouble with them. The night was going to be fun or at least entertaining enough to take his mind off other things.