alive - tommyinnit

30

tw;; small sensory overload (sounds) please stay safe 💕

.: {🐝} :.

tommy gripped at hair anxiously, getting closer to ripping out another chunk with every twitter notification chime that came from his computer and phone. his discord wasn't any better, with constant pings from random fans and friends asking if he was alright.

that stream was a stupid idea, he knew it was stupid the minute he'd clicked the 'go live' button. the constant pinging had kept him up all night, and it was nearly 5 am now. with a defeated groan he flung himself onto his bed back-first, shutting his eyes so tight that small beads of tears began to squeeze out. he just wanted some fucking peace and quiet.

he turned onto his side as the pings grew louder, curled his legs up to chest as the sounds began to scratch at his ears; it was painful. it was so loud, when had it gotten so loud? he hated how it continued to torment him, how he could picture every stupid tweet tagging him and all of his friends' worried messages on discord. he wanted to cry, he was crying. he just wanted it to be quiet.

"tommy? i keep hearing all of those little chimes, do you mind if i lower the volume here?"

thank god for his mother.

tommy perked up from his curled up position to see his mother lower the volume on his computers, noticing some of the messages from his opened discord tabs before looking away. she noticed his distressed state, letting out a small gasp before her eyes softened.

she gently patted at his leg for him to move over (which he did) before sitting down herself. she watched him with a worried expression before taking notice of the other item of distress. gently picking up his phone, she gave him a questioning glance (which tommy allowed with a nod) and then put the phone on 'do not disturb'.

"tom... you know i like to give you your space when it comes to streaming and youtube.. and that i'll support you no matter what, but that doesn't mean you should shut me out of your life."

he winced slightly at her words, but flicked his gaze up to her own as he continued to listen.

"i know these past couple of months have been extremely hard for you, but just recently i saw you happy again. you were smiling and laughing with wilbur and Y/N, but now that you're back home you've got another rain cloud following you around. i'm really concerned love, did something happen?"

she asked, gently rubbing his shoulder as he elicited another sigh. he began to chew on his bottom lip, debating whether or not he should tell her. to be fair, he'd usually tell her and his father whenever something substantial had happened in his life, and they were both very supportive of the LGBTQ+ and could help him with his self-discovery...

he slowly sat up, leaning his head against his mother's shoulder as he began to recount the events of the past two weeks.

_________

"...and now my notifications are being blown up with questions that i don't want to answer."

he mumbled into his mother's shirt as she held him close to her. he was crying now, but he didn't care. it was his mom for fuck's sake, she'd seen him cry for far stupider reasons than just a crush.

"i don't know what to do mum, i really like them but i'm scared that they don't... and they're also recovering from the crash and gaining memories, and i don't want to add some stupid teenage romance to their plate."

he sniffled, hating at how his voice cracked with years mid-sentence, but his mom didn't seem to mind at all. she continued to hold him close to her side, rocking both of them gently from side-to-side as she listened quietly.

"well tom, this is a rather difficult situation. you are right that Y/N has a lot of stressors in their life right now, but you're suffering too. you can't keep hurting yourself just to protect someone else. i think the best thing for you to do right now is tell him, it doesn't have to be anything too extravagant, something like a simple message could work. or, you could vent out all these feelings in a journal, though i do think telling Y/N directly would be best. just, make sure you're clear about it alright?"

his mother gave him a tight hug, which he mindlessly clinged to. he trusted his mum, and she was already right about how his feelings were crushing him, so she had to be right about just confessing. he pulled away from the hug after a while, giving her a small smile.

"thank you mum... i think i'm going to tell them. not now though, i'm gonna take a walk to clear my head before I tell them officially."

he said, already feeling a small tremor of anxiety pass beneath his skin at his future of confessing. his mother nodded, leaning forward to plant a kiss upon his forehead.

"alright, but be safe. good luck sweetheart, everything will turn out just fine alright? and if it's not, me and dad will be here to comfort you."

she ruffled his hair affectionately before turning to make her leave. tommy smiled as she left, he was glad he had someone like her in his life.

the teen quickly threw on a decent outfit, grabbing his keys and a hoodie, before making it outside with his mind set on a particular trail for the day.

_________

tommy smiled at the upcoming play structures, waves of nostalgia washing over him at the familiar woodchip scattered on the ground. he let out a satisfied sigh, turning to let his gaze fall upon the faded sign in front of the area.

treasure park

memories of the park's fabled origins came back to him, something along the lines of two women in love who'd been stuck in loveless marriages, he'd never really heard the whole story. he wished he'd had listened to the rumors the kids had spread now, running his fingers over the sign's letters.

he sat himself down at the parents' bench, watching as the early sun peeked from behind the slide. according to his phone, the time had struck 6:30 am, and he sat back as the sky began to wake up. sleepy blues transforming into bright fuschias and vibrant oranges, it was calming to watch it all go down.

he closed his eyes allowing himself to take it all in. the morning air that stuck to his clothes and skin, chirping of birds from every angle, and even the distant rumbling of car engines with disgruntled adults getting ready for work. it was the ultimate tranquility.

until the soft tune of tongue-tied began to chime from his phone.

.: {🐝} :.

note;;
LMAO HI
ITS BEEN A WHILE IK
I'VE JUST BEEN CHILLING SORRY
also, this was meant to be the big confession chapter but it got too long so instead it's filler again,, sorry
i feel like i'm writing badly/ooc so if i am then i'm v sorry
but ya,, good luck y'all because we're nearly done :]
have a good day drink water 💕💕