[[忘羡 | WangXian 2]] : The Green-eyed Мonster

The hole in your soul.

- Wei Ying... Can we at least talk...  -  Lan Zhan asked weakly.

 As there came no response, he turned and saw the servants carrying water for the bath. He knew he had to go. He knew Wei Ying would not open the door as long as he was there. He knew well how stubborn he could be. He knew him so well.

Brushing away tears, he moved aside and said to the girls quietly:

- Help him, he is in pain. Make sure he is taken care of. Don't let anything bad happen to him. If anything does  –  you will be sorry.

The servants were quick to nod and bow deeply and repeatedly; their Master was quite scary today. They knocked on the door carefully and it opened just a little. Lan Zhan turned his back to it all and returned to the master bedroom, far too big and empty now.

***

Soaking his whole body in the freezing waters of the Cold Spring was sobering; he would not bear to use hot water right at that moment, but was sure that a hot bath was exactly the thing Wei Ying needed. His heart was bleeding – he was worried sick for him. 

The cold helped him focus; he tried to analyze the events from the last couple of days. He was hurt, more than he had suspected. 

With age, one was supposed to mature, and grow wiser  –  he had never before been so absurdly jealous, he had never doubted Wei Ying's feelings for him. His lover was always very open and obvious about the two of them too. Yes, they liked their sex rougher at times, but it had never been as bad as last night, not as far as he could remember. And the blood.... it must have been bad. He didn't know why he had done it all – it was as if he was... possessed.  As if another used his body in a nightmarishly horrible way.

Lan Zhan closed his eyes. Was it some... unwanted, sullied energy? Hmmm. What was it... about this girl... What had triggered such ferociousness in him?

He could not stay in the water for too long. The physician was supposed to arrive any moment now.


***

Bai Li had been instructed to wait for the arrival of the doctor, and as soon as he arrived  –  to bring him in Wei Wuxian's room, and inform her Master. She was extremely nervous  –  and also worried. Never before had her Masters been so scary, so sharp and snapping with her. 

When she started her service with the Lan Clan, she was quite surprised that the school and the household were run by two men, but both were always very careful and gentle with her, and with each other. They were a famous, nay – legendary   -  cultivators tandem, and respected and loved teachers. She was happy, and felt lucky to be working for this House.

But last night she was shaken awake by Master Wei, who was as pale as death, all bruised and bloody. Dark red blood was dripping on the floor behind him; he just barked some orders and directly went to bed, locking the door behind him as if Hell's demons were chasing after him. It was also the first time she had ever seen the two Masters not share a room for the night. Her day started long before dawn, but now she was so anxious that she couldn't feel neither sleepy, nor tired. Something awful had happened last night.

***

The doctor arrived and suddenly there was a fuss all over the house. He raised an eyebrow, surprised. Bai Li rushed, bowed low, and blurted out:

- Please, please, hurry, Lao Zi, the Master is this way. Please.

She hurried along, almost running, the physician followed suit, now worried too. Lan Zhan was alerted by a servant just moments ago, and was now observing from across the porch, as pale as a sheet. His body was numb all over. Once the doctor entered the Quiet Room, Lan Zhan approached and basically collapsed to his knees, praying in his mind that all was well... or at least... fixable. Wei Ying's new body could not possibly endure the full force of his desire for him, not if he let himself go completely...

The check-up took too long. Lan Wangji thought he was going to die, simply from not knowing what was happening inside. Was it normal for the damned doctor to take such a long time? How serious was it? Tears were running down his cheeks, and he was grateful for Bai Li, supporting him up to his feet when the physician finally came out of the room.

- Please...  -  this was all Lan Zhan could say out loud. Bai Li looked at the old man imploringly.

- Hmmm.  –  he said, pondering over the situation, and unsure what to say and how to say it. This was the Lan Clan after all. 

– He will be alright. He needs a lot of rest  –  his body is in a bad shape, but he is also very upset, shaken. His soul needs rest too. There are some internal lacerations that will take some time to heal, so he must not be moved too much... Liquid diet, soup and tea... Not too cold, not too hot. – he frowned; he knew well how such bite marks would land in the places he found them on the patient's body. 

– Try to provide peace and quiet. I have left some snake oil balm for the external wounds on the table inside.

Lan Zhan sighed, and bowed low, thankful to the bottom of his soul.

- Me and my family are indebted to you, Lao Zi. I will not forget this. Thank you.

Another bow. The doctor frowned:

- This should not have happened at all. Try not to repeat it, pray.

Lan Zhan blushed intensely and bowed as deep as his body would allow. He never got up until the physician had left the premises.

***

In the next couple of days Bai Li's heart was breaking too. Master Lan would spend his days, and most of his nights talking to his husband through the door  –  he dared not enter, despite the fact that Wei Ying was absolutely bed-ridden. He was crying pitifully and begging, begging without fail to be forgiven.

She knew the other Master was in great pain too. Rarely would she enter the Guest  Room to bring him food, or prepare his bath, without finding him drowning in his tears and sorrow. He spoke very little, although his body was healing quickly  –  this was typical for him even more than it was with the other cultivators – she never knew why. But he was suffering immensely on the inside. She didn't know what to do, and wished there was a way to reconcile the two lovers who yearned for each other so strongly.

***  

Today, Master Wei suddenly asked her weakly:

- Bai Li, how is he?

- It's the same, Master. – she said sadly. – He refuses to eat, and I haven't seen him sleep, ever since that... that night...  -  tears came to her eyes, but she blinked quickly, her Master shouldn't see her cry. – He is kneeling outside the door. All the time. As if... he is punishing himself...

Wei Ying laughed quietly.

- Yes. The Lan Clan are good at one thing: punishments.  –  he said bitterly.

Bai Li hesitated.

- Master... - she bowed low. – Please, forgive my insolence, but...  can't you at least talk to him... Master Lan is suffering so much...

A shadow passed across Wei Ying's face, and he clenched his teeth.

- You can go now.