[[忘羡 | WangXian 2]] : The Green-eyed Мonster

Silences.

 
A couple of weeks passed and both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji managed to fully restore their health. 

But sadly, the physical and the mental wellbeing not always align, no matter how much we try, or pretend. 

There were no more quarrels, no accidents, and  –  to Bai Li's delight  –  they got to sharing the master bedroom at night again. Yet, not all was well. She sensed that the decorum and affection they displayed for the sake of servants, disciples and guests did not touch their hearts, and they both suffered because of it.

***

She was truly happy when Lan Xichen came visiting – having heard rumors that his brother had been taken ill, Zewu-Jun had come the very next week. Lan Wangji hadn't written to him, as he was recovering quickly and considered the matter finished and done for. But Zewu-Jun used the opportunity to visit his family - it had been too long.

Bai Li was glad; she always appreciated his wisdom, and she knew he appreciated her being frank with her opinions  –  and she had never seen him angry or emotional  –  unlike his brother, Zewu-Jun was cool and collected as fresh snow on a mountain top. There was a war inside her heart  -  she had her doubts and worries. Was it really her place to be as bold as this, and comment on her Masters and their decisions? She was but a servant, after all. But in the end her concern for their happiness won that battle.

***

She found him, a couple of days after his arrival, on a calm, sunny afternoon, meditating by the pond in one of the gardens. She sat down to the side, patiently waiting for him to notice her. Lan Xichen knew immediately there was someone approaching, but rushed not. 

His own thoughts were preoccupied with the strange behavior of the two people he held closest to his heart. The usually noisy and cheeky Wei Wuxian was not pale and silent most of the time, brooding. Was life with his brother finally starting to have its reflection on him too? No. It wasn't that. He was wondering in his heart whether their love perhaps reached its end. For, any flame that burns so brightly, inevitably is short-lived. If that was the case, Lan Wangji would be devastated. He saw clearly that his brother was tormented not so much physically, but in his heart. In all their talks, years ago, Zewu-Jun would always warn him –  such passion could not be kept, contained, bridled. 

It was destructive. Always.

Lan Xichen knew that he had to be patient. Secrets had their habit of coming into the light in unexpected ways. Now, the moment he opened his eyes, he spotted the housekeeper bowing low.

- Good day, Bai Li. Have you got a message for me?  –  he smiled gently.

- Zewu-Jun, forgive me. I have come to seek your advice, for my heart is bleeding for my Masters' sake. – she said still bowing, and now – ever lower, begging the Gods not to be scolded for her insolence. Still, she knew that with Lan Xichen honesty was the best policy.

- Hmmmm.

He laughed lightly, and got up. 

Obviously, his prayers had been heard.