[[忘羡 | WangXian 2]] : The Green-eyed Мonster

Lan Wangji //\\ Lan Xichen

Lan Zhan was a bit surprised to see his brother enter his chamber, and just before dinner. What was so urgent and could not wait to be discussed at the dinner table?

- Brother? – he abandoned his work and got up to greet him and face him now.

- Forgive me, I have hindered your activities, I'm afraid. But I need to speak to you, Wangji.

Hanguang-Jun nodded, wondering what it might be. Had his brother perhaps talked to Wei Ying? His heart sank.

- Brother, are you aware that our own servants are concerned for your  wellbeing?  – Lan Xichen said jokingly.

Lan Wangji just raised an eyebrow. This meant nothing to him.

- No, I am not telling you to punish your servants for talking to me. I have eyes too.  –  Lan Xichen said coldly now.   -  And this... this is not the Path of Peace, Brother. 

He approached the open window and let his eyes roam far away, choosing his words carefully, and giving his younger brother time to ponder on what had been already said.

- I cannot understand, Zewu-Jun. My wellbeing? I am quite happy and content. – Lan Zhan tried to be calm.

Lan Xichen turned around abruptly, but now his face was frowning a little.

- Are you? Are you sure?  –  he snapped.  – Why have I come here? Just for fun? Or maybe because of your damaged health?

Lan Zhan lowered his eyes. Deep in his heart he knew his brother was right. He could never hide anything from Lan Xichen.

- Brother, whatever's eating at your heart  –  you must deal with it. You are not a child any more. Whatever problems you and Wei Wuxian may have  –  solve them; it is quite unseemly to make everyone else around you suffer too.  –  Lan Xichen said with reproach.

- We are not...  -  Lan Zhan began.

- What? You are not suffering? Was this what you were going to say?  –  Zewu-Jun said, interrupting him.

Lan Zhan lowered his eyes, flushed. He knew he could only listen, ashamed, he really was not a child any more to be lectured this way.

- You know...  -  Lan Xichen said thoughtfully. – I have seen you happy. Truly happy. I was there on your wedding day. What I'm seeing here today is not a happy you. I see suffering that is buried so deep that you seem to have forgotten it is there. You and Wei Wuxian both. Am I right?

Lan Xichen approached his brother and noticed tears falling down his cheeks, but he remained silent.

- I am not sure who you are hiding from. Who are you lying to, Lan Wangji?  –  Lan Xichen frowned. – There is poison living in your soul, and it will not lead to anything good, or beautiful. Need I remind you of this?

- Some things are unforgivable... unforgettable....  –  Lan Zhan whispered.

- Ha! Are you suddenly a monk, Hanguang-Jun? A priest? A Buddha?  Are you praying to the Gods for forgiveness? Or are you the judge of hearts? Or is this hubris?  Pride?  You cannot control how people feel about you. When are you going to learn this lesson, Younger Brother?  –  Lan Xichen put his hand on Lan Zhan's shoulder, catching his glance and smiling at him. 

– Talk to him. I know  how much you love him. Trust that he loves you too, Di.

Moved by the name of endearment, so rarely used, Lan Wangji brushed the tears away and said firmly:

- I .... Thank you, Ge.