[[忘羡 | WangXian 2]] : The Green-eyed Мonster

To die for. {TW}

NOTE:

I am placing a TRIGGER WARNING for gore.

***

Several more days passed. Wei Ying was getting better and stronger, at least physically. Lan Zhan was dizzy and feverish most of the time, but he would not let anyone touch him. He had put the notion in his head that no one must approach the Guest Room, and was keeping guard. Bai Li was the only one trusted with the care of Wei Wuxian, and she was shuttling back and forth, worried for both, angry with both and how obstinate they were. Yet, she knew that things could not go on like that indefinitely. 

And one day it finally happened.

She was just entering the room, carrying some soup for the Master, when she saw Master Lan just grow pale and collapse to the floor.

- Master! – she cried, dropping the soup to the ground. – Help! Help me!

Wei Ying jumped to his feet  –  he was the closest. He approached, finally opening the door carefully just to see Lan Zhan's body lifeless in Bai Li's arms. She lifted her eyes to look at him for help, imploring silently. 

Wei Wuxian gasped – he hadn't seen Lan Zhan in days, and now he could clearly see the difference  –  he was so thin and weak, nothing like the magnificent young man he knew him to be. And then Bai Li screamed  –  she lifted her hand and her palm was all bloody. Her eyes looked around wildly  –  she was perhaps looking for an archer, but none could be seen, nor an arrow. Wei Ying rushed to kneel next to her – Lan Zhan's back was slowly covering in blood – the snow-white Gusu robe was turning scarlet.

- Lan Zhan! Oh, Lan Zhan...  -  he got closer and took him in his arms now so that Bai Li could get help, and she ran, sobbing.

Wei Ying gently took the robe off  –  Lan Wangji's undergarments were covered in blood too.

- What have you done, you stupid, stupid boy... -  he murmured in his ear, but Lan Zhan could not hear him.


***

Wei Wuxian ordered the servants to bring his husband to the master bedroom. Lan Zhan was lying on his belly – he had lost a lot of weight and blood, and it was extremely painful for Wei Ying to touch him, clean his wounds and tend to him. 

It felt as if he was touching a stranger, a man he did not know – a body he did not know. But he would not let anyone else near the bed, not even Bai Li. She was bringing water and clean bandages, and whatever was left from the balm they used on Wei Ying's skin. It was a pitiful sight – the skin that was already covered in too many scars was now open afresh. Bai Li was crying silently, shocked and wondering what it all meant. She also saw the way Master Wei  flinched every time he had to touch Master Lan.

Wei Ying was angry. He knew exactly what this was. It was the system of rules the Gusu Clan had so successfully encoded in all its disciples. The system of punishments. The definitions of crimes. And now – now that Hanguang-Jun was the Head of the House – there was no one to punish his   transgressions. He had done this to himself. 

He had read about self-flagellation a lifetime ago, and back in the day, when they were 17  –  they had laughed about it. Who in their right mind would do that?! He had laughed, Nie Huaisang had laughed, his brother had laughed... Now he was gnashing his teeth. No, not funny.

- You idiot... You fool! I hate you so much right now! Oh, Lan Zhan... 

***

He remembered... He remembered their time at Lake Lin... He remembered how his future husband had saved his life... How he had protected him... fought his own brother...

What had happened? 

What about their bond...?

Why?

***

After dressing his wounds, he stayed close all day, and then during the night. Giving him some water was all he could do... He had to wake up on his own; his core was sure to heal him. Now that they were alone, and so close to each other, Wei Ying had the chance to take a good look at him. His face was pale, wanton... It looked as if he had spent months in prison... or had swallowed poison.

His heart was bleeding; he still oved him so much  –  how could he not? 

All those words...

He would bet all the servants had thought him heartless and cruel – everybody could hear Lan Zhan's pleas, his begging on his knees... Wei Ying could hear them too, yes... It broke his heart, but he needed time alone. Otherwise he'd go crazy, he was sure of it.

- You could always find me... Please, find me again...  –  he whispered and mustered the courage to bend down and kiss Lan Zhan's raven-black hair.