Famous Last Words! (Frerard fic, also a bit of Mikey/Ray)

Fuck it

Frank's POV

My eyes shut closed immediately. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This was not happening! Gerarrd Arthur Way is not kissing me, no, it must be a dream. A fucking great dream. He pulled away slightly, scared if I reacted badly. My eyes flew open. Is it me, or is it suddenly hot in here?

"Err," I couldn't even form words. "Gerard?" I gulped. He blushed furiously, making him even look cuter.

"Oh my God! Fucking hell Frankie! I am so sorry!" he says frantically. He jumps up and runs out of the room. I was frozen to the ground. I tried to get my head round it.

Wasn't we just arguing? Didn't he just call me a bastard? Did I just steal his coffee? Ugh! This is so complicated! I hated the effect he had on me. I so hope he gets sent to hell.

His lips were so soft, I recalled how the kiss felt. Fucking brilliant. I sound like a teenage girl that's lovesick. Well, I guess I am, in a way. Eww no! I ain't a girl, guys! I mean I may be in love with Gerard, just a smidge.

And I lost my chance at telling him, coz he ran out of the room like a lightning bolt. I sighed pathetically. I am really a tortured soul.

I lifted my sleeve and my eyes watered. The scars and cuts that were frozen there, mocking me, laughing at me. I tried to hold it in. I tried to act all bubbly and crazy like normal. But the pain. I can't deal with the pain everywhere I go. I busted out in tears then, I couldn't even see properly.

It's just, am I really that bad? Am I really a pathetic alcoholic? I didn't think so. Neither does Gerard. I wiped my tears away, that's what hurts the most. Gerard. I love him, too much.

He's the only reason why I'm still standing on Earth right now. I don't need the Earth's core and gravity to weight me down, because Gerard does all of that. And I am eternally grateful to him. You see, I've got this problem. A BIG problem.

I choke on more tears as I throw my head in my hands. It's just so hard! It's hard to not stick a knife in my heart right now! My problem, yeah it's a home problem.

My dad died three years ago, leaving me and my mother in distraught. I thought I wouldn't get through it, until Gerard helped me in every way possible. He's always helping me, and how did I repay him? By yelling at him and smashing his coffee. I'm just a horrible person!

Anyway, since my dad died, my mum has been lonely. So she started dating this guy called Rick. I hate him mentally and physically. He acts all lovey dovery to my mum, but after they got married he moved in with us. He took one glance in my room (which was pitch black like Gerard's and full of my favourite band posters, as well as my comments on life. Go death!) and he acted so sorry for me, only coz mum was next to us.

He acted amazing for a few weeks. I nearly fell into his trap. I nearly started to like him. I let my guard down, which is why I never let my guard down any more. Coz you know what happened? He offered to take me on a father-son activity thingy, God knows what he was planning at the time. I said okay coz I was bored, and I started to like him. But.....but he isn't at all what mum thinks he is.

I'm nearly drownded in my own tears. I feel like such a wimp, such a cry baby. I'm letting out all my emotions that I've been keeping in for three awful years!

"Frank?" a weak voice mumbled. My head snapped up, oh no. Oh for fuck sake! Really?

"Piss off," I mutter. It wasn't a bitter tone, a very hurtful one.

His head peered around the door, his eyes were wide.

"Frankie!" he cried.

Gerard rushed over to me and knelt beside me.

"What's wrong?" he asks so weakly I felt myself crumble. If he was cracking, then I'm falling, hard.

I needed to tell him the truth right? He needs to know why I'm crying like I am. His eyes went as wide as boulders as he spotted my arms.

"What the fuck Frank?" his reaction was predictable. What I didn't expect was him to wrap his arms around me. Gerard was not the hugging type, but his embrace felt so relaxing.

"I need to tell you something," I whipser. He nods desperately, letting go of me so he could see me better.

I told him about my step dad, and that he was acting all nice and the fatherly type. I explained about what it was like to live with him, and that he offered to take me out on that trip. He shook his head, trying to process everything.

"Wait, stop Frankie. I don't get it. Am I missing something? Here you are crying your eyes out, your arms are mauled and you're talking about your step dad like he is the best thing in the world," he sounded desperate, yet so confused. I smiled softly at him, stroking his cheek with my thumb.

"I thought he was Gee. I thought he was a great dad. I thought wrong," I spat.

"Go on," he urged me.

"Anyway, so when we went out on the visit, he drove us to a murky pub down a dark alleyway. I knew this meant trouble. I was only thriteen at the time, but I knew what happened when people got drunk. Remember my proper dad?" I ask him. He nods, smiling softly at me.

"Well, whenever he got drunk, he'd yell and have a go at us. But it was at the time my step dad had too much to drink was that I realised what my dad did was nothing compared to Rick. He slumped outside, cakcling away like an evil witch. I followed him like a little sheep. I had no idea where we were going. Gerard, I was so scared," I was crying again.

Gee just pressed his head on my shoulder, looking expectantly at me.

"He hit me Gee! He slapped me right across the face! The police  had to take us home!" I muttered with pure hatred. "It was then he realised how much fun it was to hurt me. So he did it on a regular basis, pissed or sober. It was never in front of mum. Never. But he'd kick me in the ribs, Gerard. He'd punch me in the face, kick me where it hurts the most. I was abused like hell. But I was too much of a prick to do anything about it," I was heavily crying now, some of my words not even audible.

Gerard was heartbroken. I could tell by how he was looking at me. He pulled me closer to him and I rested my head on his chest.

"This is where you come in, Gee. He still does it, every chance he gets he'd hurt me. But he found out it wasn't just physical pain that hurt me, it was mentally too. So he'd start calling me names. He'd always tell me I was worthless, he'd yell at me saying I was the most pathetic son to have ever lived. And after two years I believed him. Every word he spoke I believed. I am worthless Gee!" I snap, getting more angry then upset now.

Gerard is perfect, and yet I'm Sainten that was unlucky enough to be born on Earth.

Gerard immediately stiffened and forced me to look at him.

"You are not worthless! You care about everyone, you make sure nobody gets hurt. You look out for Mikey which I am so grateful for. Frankie, your amazing, trust me. You're funny, you're great at the guitar, you don't care about what other people think, you be yourself through no matter what. I look up to you for that. I truly do," his words were full of passion. Now do you see why I love this guy?

"Thanks, Gee. But Rick never thought so. You are the only reason why I'm still here. I could've ended this pain ages ago, as soon as it started. But I didn't. You know why?" I ask him.

He shakes his head softly at him.

"You. Gerard, you're the reason I haven't committed suicide. I can't stay away from you, which may sound a bit stalker-ish," we both laughed at that. It felt good to laugh.

"I love you Gee," I blurt out. What? I had to say it sooner or later. He smirks at me. I tilt my head and give him a wink. He laughs and leans closer.

"Love you too, Frank. Don't believe a word that man says to you. If it gets worse, you can live with me. But right now, we're on tour! Do you believe that? You better get your sorry arse off of that floor and start plucking your guitar or I will have to kick your sorry buttocks to the venue myself!" he stood up then, trying to act stern. I saw right through it. After his rant we both ended up laughing.

I stood up and smirked at him. We kissed for a few seconds before trudging into our bedroom. Yeah, maybe this won't be so bad. Hell isn't so bad if you get to keep an angel with you.