Sweet Revenge

Flaming Chickens Who Don't Like Fire

          "...You lit their kitchen on fire?"

          "Of course I did! The Weasel matriarch's chicken was not frying properly! I just had to help!"

           "..."

           "I didn't know that flaming chickens disliked fire," Harry muttered petulantly. 

           "THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!" 

            "Sirius, why in Merlin's name are you here and not with the...flaming chickens?"

             "It's charred chickens now, Tom!"

             "...shut up, Harry."

              "I'm here -oi, do shut up ickle godson of mine- because nothing was burnt and now the entire Order is up on my back about lifting nonexistent fire-extinguishing charms that they think have been instated on the estate!"

                 "..."

                  "Aw, Tom, don't give him that look! He's just a puppy!"

                  "Excuse me? My own godson? Insulting me???"

                    "Stop being so dramatic Black."

                     "By the way, Siri. Grimmauld isn't an estate."

                     "And there are no fire-extinguishing wards surrounding the Black Residence."

                      "But then what am I supposed to tell the Order?!" Sirius blubbered.

                      "You're supposed to tell them that, 'no Mrs. Weasley, Grimmauld Place has no such extinguishing wards. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my room thank you.'"

Sirius gave a sort of semi-salute before jumping unceremoniously into the fire and getting whisked away by a flurry of green flames and curse words. 

                      "Now, are you going to tell me the real reason why you lit the kitchen on fire?"

                     "...shut up, Tom."

                       "Aww! Copying my words already, baby?"

Harry's face did not turn cherry red. 

----------

          "IT'S YOU!"

          "Who knew you could be so dramatic, Potter," Harry deadpanned as he brushed past the irate, red-faced fat little blob of flesh. 

          "I know it's you! You lit it on fire! You're trying to undermine the Order! I bet you've gone Dark! I bet you're a spy for You-Know-Who! I bet you-"

          "Do shut up."

Silencing spells were very handy when it came to such instances. 

------------

For the next couple weeks until school started, Harry burnt exactly sixty-four items belonging to the Order and fireproofed the Black Family ancestral items. 

He also muggle-proofed the Library. 

He may have changed the wards so Granger couldn't get in. 

But that didn't mean he had to let her know. 

Alex Potter's futile cause for finding something that classified Harry as "Dark" was looking him in the face, but he still tried.