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Chapter Twenty · Seven

Julian

"So I went to dinner with my parents. Well, first they showed up unannounced, which is typical of them — always have to make a grand entrance." Eliza said, rolling her eyes. I stared at her intently, my eyebrows furrowed. My gaze shifted to her glassy hazel eyes. She takes a couple sips of her red wine before she continues to explain, "Then my narcissistic ass of a mother starts with her usual antics, criticizing me every chance she gets. My father, he usually defends me against her, but then there're times where he's right there with her. You know, it's like I can't win with them." I nod, listening to her every word. "Tonight, they've really outdone themselves. I dropped a bomb on my parents tonight during dinner and they didn't take it too well as expected, but I basically was shunned by my father and gaslighted by my mom. It was a literal nightmare." She told me, gulping down the rest of her wine. I noticed she's been drinking quite a bit. Without thinking, I verbalized my thoughts: "How much of that have you had to drink?" I questioned her. Pouring herself another glass, she says, "Of what — oh, this?" She held up the cup of wine. "Yes." She shrugged. "Not much — okay, a few cups," she admitted with a shameful look in her eyes. "I'm sorry, it's just this whole day has been stressful for me." She expressed this in a deep sigh. "It's okay," I told her with a polite smile. "I just don't want you to over drink yourself. Maybe–maybe you should stop." She nods. "You know what? You're right, I should probably lay off this." She agreed before sitting the full glass of wine on the floor next to the side of the couch.

"So what do you make of all this?" She asks. "Well, before I give my answer I'm curious to know the bomb you dropped on them." I say. Her body tensed, she seemed hesitant with her response, unsure, then she finally blurts out: "I.. I dropped out of college." College, huh? I would have never thought. I didn't see any college stuff in her room. "I know, not what you expect from the perfect Eliza, right?" She said sarcastically, taking my silence as an answer. "Uh, I'll admit, I'm surprised, but only because I didn't even know you were in college to begin with. I'm sure you had your reasons for dropping out, so I can't judge your decision." She gave a slight smile and relaxed her shoulders, no longer expecting judgement. "Thank you for that."

"I also think your parents clearly love you, but they just don't know how to show it in a way that works for all of you." I added. She scoffs."What a nice way to see it like that. I guess you could be right." She says, "Sounds like you must have a great relationship with your parents."

"I don't, actually," I confessed. "Oh, I'm sorry, you want to talk about it?" She offered. "Maybe some other time, tonight's about you." I told her. "Well, I'm here for you anytime, on the other hand, I think I'm done ranting about my awful parents."

"They're not perfect, no." I commented. "That's an understatement." I chuckled at her remark. "Thank you for listening to me, Julian. I hope I didn't bore you to death."

"You're never a bore to me, Eliza." I reassured her. "How do you do that?" She asked. "Do what?" I say. "Be so charming, so nice and understanding. It's different from what I'm used to. Most guys I know are assholes." It's you, Eliza. Being with you is just as easy as breathing air. "I don't know, maybe all the right things just come to me around the right person." I replied with a smirk. "Maybe so." She blushed.

A comfortable silence fell, and we stared at each other for a few seconds, not saying anything else but searching each other's eyes. Without a warning, Eliza straddled me and my hands found their way to her waist. I was surprised by her actions. "What are you doing?" I asked. "I want you, Julian." She declared, her eyes filling with lust. Wait, am I dreaming? This is the moment I've waited for, but then again, you're drunk. You could not mean any of this. You could be caught up in the moment. I know this and I won't take advantage. "Eliza, I don't think you're in the right mind right now, maybe-" She cut me off. "No, Julian, I know what I want. I might be a little tipsy, but I am fully aware of what I'm doing." She placed a hand on my jaw and began planting soft, gentle kisses on my neck. Fuck, this feels so right and I don't want to stop her, but I don't feel comfortable letting her do this. Not this way. "Eli–Eliza." I groaned, immediately feeling a boner grow on. Her touch and kisses alone sent shocks of electricity throughout my body. I wanted her more than anything, but I couldn't. We can't. "Wait, Eliza, wait." I told her. She pulled back and looked at me. "What, Julian, don't you want me?" She asked seductively. "I...I do, but we can't. I don't trust that this is what you want, at least right now. You're hurt and conflicted, believe me, I know what it's like to want to stop the pain, but this isn't the way. Okay?" I say, looking her in the eyes. "I just want to feel good Julian, make me feel good, please." She begged.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, my heart pounding. I have never been so damn conflicted in my life.

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