leaving this place has always been something i have been dreaming off since i started middle school. all my life i always had to take care of myself because my parents were too busy taking care of sam, so leaving wouldnt be any different than staying, but also it would be kind of a relief.
ever since izzie said UCLA it always felt right. it felt like that was my destiny, it was were i was going to belong. now, the thought of leaving didnt feel the same at all.
before all i could think about was myself and what i would do for myself. but now there are people i really care about. izzie and sam. i dont know what i would do without them.
if i do get into UCLA izzie has to be there with me. it wouldnt feel right if she wasnt, it isnt only my future only, it was ours. on the other hand, i know that sam is older than me and everyone keeps saying you dont have to stick around, especially sam. he keeps on saying "im a grown man casey, you dont have to stay" but it still bothered me.
the thought of leaving sam or izzie is killing me. like what if i leave and then things arent the same anymore, that always worried me a lot.
"ugh im never having kids" i heard izzie say while walking into her room and closing the door behind her, making my thoughts disappear and i look at her and chuckle "what happened?" i asked as she threw herself on the bed.
"lucas climbed up on the kitchen counter and literally dumped all the salt everywhere" she sat up and looked at me again "and then mia started fighting with cleo over the tv remote" she said clearly frustrated and laid back on the pillows.
"you know, ive never met your siblings before" i said just now realizing ive never met any of them except for one im not sure if it was cleo or mia tho. "trust me you shouldnt" she said.
i just nodded and looked back at my phone, my mind was still focused on this UCLA email. i didnt know weather i should tell izzie or just never open it. but i couldnt even continue my thought when suddenly izzie realized the stress. she put her hand on my shoulder and shaking it a little.
"hey is everything ok?" i hesitantly look back at her and not slowly "yeah..everything is fine" i spoke trying to act as normal as possible but izzie saw right through me. "dont lie to me case." she said and i sigh. i looked at my phone, dropping it then turn my whole body to face her.
"ok. so basically i got an email from UCLA." i said and took a deep breath in. "oh seriously? what did it say" she asked and seemed pretty excited about it. "i dont know, i still didnt open it im too scared" i said and she rolled her eyes. "babe it cant be bad, cmon lets read it together" she said grabbing my phone.
"but like what if i got rejected or something, or maybe its an acceptance letter and you didnt get one, how can i go to UCLA without you or maybe its something else and im just overthinkin-"
"hey hey hey. whatever it is, good or bad, we'll go through it together ok" she said and held my hand tight while she unlocked my phone. i couldnt even look at my phone, i looked away and started biting my fingers getting really anxious.
i look at izzie and see her reading the email, i look away not wanting to know anything about what the email had to say.
god why is life so stressful.
"omg you got the full scholarship case!" she said almost jumping up and down on the bed with excitement.
why wasnt i excited.
- sorry for the short chapter, i just have and exam coming up and its been really stressful. i promise ill post more soon. hope you guys are enjoying the story so far<3
