Got lost in Wonderland (James Franco Fanfic)

Chapter 15; Banished Memories

Caroline sat on her bed, head in hands. She'd been there for an hour not moving an inch.

"I'm not helping him I'm ruining him." she sighed running a hand through her short blonde hair.

It had been a few weeks since James left. Even though he left, it made Caroline feel worse. People told her it was for the best but what did they know? They didn't have a clue of what she went through or was going through.

"I miss him." she admitted out loud and let the tears she had been holding back finally fall

Anger bubbled up inside of her and she pulled pictures off the wall, throwing them to the floor and breaking every single one. Glass laid on the floor as well as pictures. After every last picture had been broken, she felt worse then before.

A short knock on the door pulled her out of her pity. She stepped on the glass and opened the door.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. I just wanted to check on you." Chris stood there hands in his pockets

"Yeah, I'm fine." she said smiling

He nodded "You know that I don't believe that right?" he pushed the door open and went inside "What happened?"

"Oh just you know." she mumbled

Chris shook his head and cleaned up her mess "You're bleeding." he sighed making her sit in a chair going to get a wet cloth

"Why are you babying me? I'm twenty-four." Caroline said annoyed

Chris cleaned the blood off her and looked into her blue eyes "Why are you incapable of letting people care for you?" he retorted standing up

"I'm not." she crossed her arms.

Chris laughed "You are Caroline. You wouldn't let James care for you, me or even Sebastian."

"That's not true one bit." she stood up

"Stop denying it. We know it is true, stop punishing others for whoever hurt you." he harshly said "It's not fair to the people who want to love you Caroline."

"Who wants to love me Chris? Honestly no one wants a girl with twenty years of damage and baggage." she said getting upset

"Don't you get Caroline?" he asked his voice raising as he stepped closer to her

She crossed her arms "Get what?" her voice equally raised as well

"I'm in love with you." he yelled

Caroline stood there shocked completely, all the times people said he liked her she assumed he didn't.

"W-what?" she stuttered

Chris closed his blue eyes and sighed "I'm in love with you Caroline." he repeated

"How?" she wondered

"When you were at my apartment talking about James. I realized I had fallen for you." he explained "And that time you flew out to LA and spent a few days with me."

"Chris we're friends." Caroline said bittng her lip

"I understand Care and you're still in love with James." Chris pursed his lips "I should've known better." he walked to the door

"Please, don't walk out of my life like everyone else." she said staying in the same spot she had been in

"Don't let me." he replied facing her

Caroline closed her eyes and opened them, in that instant he left. Taking every memory imaginable.

"You're still in love with James." she repeated in her head the words Chris said.

She decided it was true, so she braved herself and flew to Colorado. The flight was long for her because she had no idea what to say to James.

"Miss Taylor what can I do for you?" a man in a jacket asked

"I'm looking for James." she said

He smiled "This way." he motioned for her.

She followed him inside the building and into an office "How is he?" she asked

"He's made plenty of progress." the doctor smiled "I'm doctor Richards by the way. We spoke on the phone."

"Oh of course." she smiled

"So James, he's doing very good. Talks about you a lot though." the doctor grinned "If you wait out there I'll get him."

Caroline walked out to what was the visiting room. She looked out the window and admired the scenery.

"Who is here to see me?" James asked

"Just go see." he urged

James shrugged and stopped in his tracks seeing a tall women, who wore black heels and a blue dress "Caroline?" James asked

Caroline turned around and smiled tears rushing down her face "I've missed you." she stepped towards him as he did her

"I've missed you too." he replied pulling her into his arms "Sh it's okay."

"I made a mistake. I put you here and things just." she sobbed

James stroaked her hair "It's alright Caroline."

After a few minutes all had seemed calm "Will you come home please?" she asked

"I-I can't Caroline." James said "I'm well but, I want to get better then what I am now."

Caroline was shocked, she was sure he'd come home with her if she begged him to. That wasn't happening though.

"Oh." she replied sitting on the couch

James sat next to her "I'm sorry Caroline." he patted her knee "You have Chris there I'm sure you have plenty of company with him."

"He said he was in love with me today." she admitted

James was a little hurt but shook it off "Do you love him?" he asked

"No he's just a friend." she told him

"I though you two were together though." he said confusion clear in his voice

"No we're only friends. Or were I'm not sure where we are now." Caroline sighed

James bit his lip and swallowed every ounce of pride he had "Caroline listen to me. I love you but, it's time for us both to move on. We're to toxic for one another." he paused for a moment then continued "Chris seems like a great guy so does that Sebastian guy. Let them love you, you deserve someone who is capable of loving you."

Carolines lip trembled a bit "They don't know how to love me like you did though."

"Teach them then. You deserve a great life and that's something I can't give you." he touched her shoulder "I'll always love you, you just need a better lover then me." his thumb wiped away the tears the fell

"So this is goodbye then?" she asked as her heart fell to her stomach

"I'm afraid so." he replied kissing her cheek "Goodbye Caroline."

"Goodbye James." Caroline stood up and walked to the door. She left without looking back at him.

Doctor Richards let out a sigh "She's gone now out of your life?"

"She is sir. It's for the best." James said watching as she got into a car and left.

Caroline sat in the back of the taxi letting her tears fall. She wiped them away and laughed "I'm not wasting my time on someone who doesn't want me." she said aloud

In the car she banished every memory they ever made. Every wonderful, sad or happy memory. Also in that instant of the decision she decided she'd never do the things she'd done with James with another person.

A week had passed since Caroline went to visit James. She hadn't been anywhere since then. Caroline couldn't get over what their last conversation was about. She imagined he'd say that he loved her and would come home. But that wasn't the case at all. She was angry at herself for letting her get so upset about some guy. The blonde knew she had to move on no matter what.