Jesse - A Young Adult Novel -

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-This novel is dedicated to all of the Jesses and Ians around the world whose voices have gone unheard, and for all those who hope, aspire, and dream; it's for you -

“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter.”

-James Earl Jones

Jesse McLeod

Prologue: My life

Alright, listen up. Let’s go ahead and get this over with, set things straight between us before we do anything else. I don’t know you. And sure as hell don’t expect you to know me. So here’s the deal. I’m not going to tell you everything. Because you don’t need to know everything. Simple as that.

            This is me. This is my life in the wonderful, beautiful Missouri. My incredibly shitty life.

            I’m just so tired. So fucking tired. Every day is the fucking same. Get up. Take a shower. Put on the same clothes. Make breakfast for myself, and for someone who could care less. Go to school. Survive.

            Come home. Maybe steal some of my pop’s weed he had stashed in his room, in an old shoe box. Maybe smoke. Attempt homework. Give up. Wait for the wonderful Dad to come home. Put up with his shit. Sometimes only get punched in the face or stomach, if I’m lucky.

            Wait, again. Steal some of his cigarettes. Go outside. Into the night. Climb up onto the roof. Sit. Smoke. Breathe. Just look at the stars. Remember. Remember Mom. Remember her laugh. Remember everything. Okay, I’ll just admit it. Maybe cry a bit. Wipe the tears away. Make sure no one sees. But there is no one.

            No one else is there. Alone. I’m alone. Always. Me and alone are the same. And that hasn’t changed for years. Until now.

            Now everything is about to change. And I’m not sure how it’s going to end up. But maybe it’ll end good. Then again, maybe it won’t.

            But sometimes, some things are best left unsaid.

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