Jesse

10: Life, unexpected

10: Life, unexpected

My life. I had it down to the basics. Get up. Slap off the damn alarm. Go asleep again. Wake up startled, thinking I was late. But I still had time left. Go take shower. Put on clothes. Make breakfast. Hurry up and eat, brush my teeth while wandering around my room looking for shit like my homework and my book bag that magically somehow disappear overnight. One way or another, eventually leave for school.

It was like a bad drama rerun stuck on repeat. Every day. Every fucking day.

That morning, when my eyes flickered open, the ceiling fan whirling above—I realized: the rerun had stopped. Somebody had changed the station.

But who did…? I knew the answer. I didn't want to accept it though.

I didn't fall back asleep. Bleary-eyed, but awake. What I did do…I thought about Ian. And knocked the hell out of my alarm. The poor thing.

I struggled to get up, grumbling; I was still feeling minor pangs and aches from my wonderful encounter with Ty: the bruises were yellowing more, but the knots were at least not as swollen. And I could see mostly out of my left eye again. Outside, the morning sunlight was pale and it pooled through my window. I groaned, throwing off the covers. Another wonderful day. But I had a feeling about today. It was going to be different. A good kind of different.

But I had to remind myself of reality. I learned that in life nothing was as it seemed. And never to get your expectations too high, because life was brutal. Life didn't care. Simple as that.

…

Walking along the sidewalk I felt strangely like I was lost in one of those Disney movies, where the sun is shining brightly, and you break out in the most sickeningly happy song and suddenly everyone begins to sing and dance behind you; cartoon birds fly overhead, and you wonder why you are seeing cartoon birds…

Okay so maybe it wasn't exactly like that, but for the first time in my life I felt happy. Despite everything. I was happy. And I had every right to be.

Ian was waiting for me, but as I approached his truck, I saw he was already sitting inside. So I went around, and opened the passenger door, climbing inside. I realized that it was the first in awhile I had been in Ian's truck. Its distinct leathery smell brought back flashes of those first few days, when we barely knew each other.

I caught him grinning at me as I quietly buckled, settling.

"You only look a little beaten up today: your eye's getting better," he noted jokingly, cranking his monstrous engine to life.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up," I muttered, smiling myself. I couldn't help it around Ian.

"Nice to see you too," he said sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied. "What about some music?"

He was looking back as he reversed out of his driveway. Ian flipped on the radio. "Turn it to whatever you want."

I shrugged. "Alright." After turning the dial, I decided with some rock station.

The sunlight glinted through the windshield, and the silence fell between us. Today it seemed somehow different. The silence that you feel, and know when someone wants to say something. The air began to tense.

"Um, Jesse," Ian began unsurely, as we slowed down at the red light.

"Yeah?"

"I won't be able to take you home," he said, and explained: "Well, I signed up for the football team. I forgot to tell you. Try outs are this afternoon…I forgot to tell you, last night. Sorry."