Oh Boy! (BL)

13 - Pain (1/3)

!! Trigger Warning1: Homophobia, Violence, Blood !!

!! Trigger Warning2: Mentions of Rape and Death !!

Up to this day, I still wonder why I didn't run. Why did I not run when seeing the switchblade flicker high above my head?! Why was the only thing that saved my life the fact that Hayden's angry roar made me stumble one step to the left? One step or the 3.5-inch-long blade would've slit my throat instead of cutting right through my shoulder. The blade cut through my flesh like a knife through butter. Effortlessly. Mercilessly. Without hesitation.

At first, my body didn't realize what had just happened; neither did my mind know what was going on. I stared at the knife's handle for what felt like a whole minute - though it wasn't even a second - before the sight of a single drop of blood on my polo-shirt made the pain run through my body like a flow of acid lava.

It burned!

Not just my shoulder, but my entire body felt as if it was on fire! A fire that slowly spread from the injury over my chest, down my legs, and to the tip of my toes. And it got worse with every inch the blade cut deeper through my flesh.

"Scream, Kenji. SCREAM!" Hayden's eyes were so bloodshot that almost all of the white was covered by a net of red veins, he reeked of alcohol, and sweat was glistening on his forehead. "Yeaaah, that's what I wanna hear!"

The crazy laughter escaping his cracked lips would've been enough of a reason to get scared, but it was the fact that he seemed to hallucinate that made my blood run cold. Despite the burning pain, despite the knife in my shoulder, despite the fear that made me tremble...I wasn't screaming.

But Hayden closed his eyes with a wide grin on his face and hummed. "Scream. Scream. Scream. I love the sound of your pain. Mhm. Mhm." He stopped humming. "Do you know?"

I gulped. "Kn...know what?"

He giggled. "The cops are on my back. The cops." Slowly, his eyes lids opened, and his mouth fell. "They came looking for me, faggot. At home. AT HOME!" His hold tightened around to the handle of the knife in my shoulder. My breath quickened, fearing that he'd push the knife even deeper into the wound.

He didn't.

No, Hayden leaned in closer to me until I could feel his hot breath against my ear. "It's all your fault, you dirty little faggot!", he whispered. Over and over again. "Your fault. Your fault. Yours. Only yours."

His foul breath made my already sick stomach turn.

"You ruined my entire life! Ruined everything...everything..."

Worse than the pain - so much worse than the pain - was the fear that paralyzed my aching body. Until the moment I realized that I couldn't move, I stood frozen in Hayden's grasp. But then a tear escaped my eye. Hayden's crazy gaze followed its path down my cheek to my chin, where he caught it with the tip of his left index finger. I didn't know how far he would go; if he would ever stop...or not.

"I cried, too," he whispered. "So many tears. Did you know that your tears are limited?" The knife moved slightly when he shook the handle when I didn't reply.

Shivering in endless fear, I shook my head.

"They do. And then" He regarded my shoulder. "your eyes begin to hurt. They want to shed more tears, but your body can't give them more. More." Giggle. "Does it hurt, Kenji?"

I yelped when he ripped the knife from the wound in one swift move.

For a moment, I was blinded by the sharp feeling of pain.