D A M A G E D • HS

1

TW: Drug use
mentions of addiction

ARLO P.O.V

Life can be a cruel thing at times. Life can make me wish I was never born because of how painful it is. Life can make me question my existence, my purpose.

I think it's bullshit to think that everyone is placed on this earth for a greater than good reason. Yes, some people are put on earth to cure diseases, protect the public, teach the future generations, fight social injustices, and so on and so forth.

To think that every single person is placed on earth to bring light to the world is purely comical. There would be no need for light if we didn't have the dark.

There would be no need for heroes if we didn't have villains. There would be no need for the rich if we didn't have the poor. There would be no need for happiness without sadness. There would be no need for healing without pain.

There are people in my opinion, who are placed on this earth for the lesser of the good. To wreak havoc, to cause problems.

There are people placed on this earth for the sole purpose of trying to destroy it. To try and make people miserable, to cause damage.

I often find myself wondering where I lie. Am I here to better the world, to create beauty? Am I here to bring light, or am I here to bring the dark? Am I here to make the world ugly?

The more I think about it the more I come to the realization that I'm here to just suffer. I think I'm one of those people that were placed on this earth to do nothing, to be purposeless.

I'm not here to make people smile, but I'm also not here to make people frown. I'm here to be a puppet for people to experiment their purpose on. I'm here to take the wrath of both good and evil, and have no say.

I'm here to drown in my sorrow where the only direction is down. I'm here to have a functioning brain that can process thoughts, but never be heard because I am not of importance. I am someone who has to try and survive life to the best of their abilities with no idea on what to do next.

I'm here to fight alone, without a single person batting an eye towards me. Without a single person caring for me.

But that's inevitable when you're as fucked up as me.

To cope with my plain and worthless life, I drink, I smoke, I snort, I swallow, I party, I escape.

And that is exactly what I'm doing right now.

Sitting on the black leather couch in a random corner of the booming and alive party, impatiently waiting for Willy to finish sorting the lines of coke for us to snort.

My foot rapidly taps the floor as I drool over the white powder. I pick my cuticles out of habit, tearing my gaze away from the table to scan the party as I gnaw on my bottom lip.

Tonight is the infamous summer send off party. Today is the last day of summer before school starts up again. Each grade level at my school throws a party to celebrate and have one last summer hoora before returning to hell on earth.

This year is the biggest one yet. Since my class is going into our senior year of high school, we decided to go all out. It's trippy how fast time can fly, but nonetheless I'm ready for this bullshit to be over with.

I watch as people aimlessly dance in the area that's been turned into a makeshift dance floor. Girls run their hands up the length of their body as they grind on each other, while boys shamelessly stare at them, trying to discreetly rub their growing bulge to attempt to release some tension.