D A M A G E D • HS

56

A/N: This chapter deals
with a very heavy topic,
if you are not comfortable
please skip

TW: statutory rape

ARLO P.O.V

I can barely breathe right now. It's too much, everything is far too much. Why the fuck did this night end up like this?

I didn't come to Lush for anything more than to get out of the house for a few hours, and chill on a couch at a club the whole night.

This is not how I thought tonight would turn out. I didn't expect that after arriving, I would, shortly after, be sneaking away to go back home.

I didn't tell anyone I was leaving, I just simply left. I'll deal with whatever repercussions I face from Miller like I always do.

Too much happened tonight. From seeing Harry, to being whisked away by Harry, to crying against Harry's warm, familiar chest, to seeing that man was all too much for my mind to process.

I shouldn't have gotten so close to Harry tonight. I shouldn't have broken, and sought comfort from him. I should have withheld like I have been the past couple of weeks, but being so close, smelling him, and talking to him as Arlo and not as another persona broke me faster than I expected.

Harry Styles is the strongest drug I've ever come across, and no matter how many times I try to fight the urge to give in, he will always win. I will always be consumed by him, and I will always break if I'm too close to him.

I knew distance was the best option to go about all of this. I was doing so good, but I didn't expect him to be at Lush the same night I would be there.

My head just feels fucked. It's like I can't think straight, or I think of everything that happened tonight all at once.

The Uber that I took from the club reaches my house. I say thank you to the man behind the wheel, and get out of the car.

I shuffle my way to the door, and punch in the code to be let in. I open the door, and close it behind me.

I move back with the door, pressing my back against the sleek wood, and sliding down to the ground. I snap my legs closed, and pull my knees to my chest. I rest my cheek on top of my knees, and take a deep shaky breath.

I feel an abundance of panic brewing in my body, but the panic overtaking my body, that usually throws me into a panic attack won't come. My mind won't fully tip over the edge of sane and hysteria.

Why fucking why

I thought he was gone. They promised me I would never see his face again, but they lied. Their liers.

I become so weak around him, I hate it. I told myself I wouldn't let him have control over me anymore, but tonight proved that he still has it all, and I'm still the weak one.

They don't warn you how bad trauma really affects a person. It's weird how one thing can alter the way we live in the matter of seconds.

I wish the ground would cave in, and suck me into the abyss. At least there, no one could bother me, and for once I can escape the joke that is my life.

No tears threaten to fall from my eyes, and I take it as my sign to get up from the floor, and lock myself in my room until I have to meet up with Miller again. I know that I'm going to run through all of the blunts and joints tonight that I rolled. I push myself up off the ground, and walk towards the stairs.

As I'm walking an unexpected voice catches my attention.

"Lola." My steps seize completely. I stop breathing for a second from hearing that nickname.