D A M A G E D • HS

48

ARLO P.O.V

9:30 am, I'm sitting outside of a large warehouse a couple of miles out of town, secluded from the world.

It's Monday, a day and a half after the party. That's a day and a half of me not seeing, being near, or touching Harry. It's been fucking hard.

He called, and texted me a solid hundred times. My phone for the past day and a half has been non-stop buzzing.

It hurts seeing his name pop up on my phone, but not being able to answer.

It got so bad to the point that I put him on mute. I almost broke yesterday night when I was laying in my bed on the verge of tears from how cold I felt, but I didn't. I had to remind myself that my father knows who Harry is, so keeping my distance from him is the best choice because it ensures his safety.

His safety, and life is far more important than my deep rooted need to be with him. I won't put him in danger, even if it's killing me.

My Sunday consisted of me wallowing in my bed, wrapped up in a hoodie that's Harry's. It still smells like him. Vanilla and tobacco. The only way I could relax and not have a full on panic attack was to have some reminder of him to comfort me.

My chest fucking hurt the entire day, I felt dead inside, feeling like my old self again. I just want him so badly, but then I think about him getting hurt, or possibly dying because of me, and that reminds me that this is what's best for him.

I'm dressed in a pair of plain black leggings, Harry's gray Nike hoodie, and a pair of black and white Converse. I know wearing his clothes is stupid, especially if I'm meant to be moving on from him, but I can't let go of him, not yet, and probably not ever.

I'm sure years, or maybe even months down the road he'll eventually move on, and meet a beautiful girl that will take his breath away. She'll consume his thoughts day in and day out, and any memory he has of me, of us, will fade away. He'll eventually marry her, have kids, and spend the rest of his life content and happy by her side.

I don't think I'll ever find someone new. It's stupid to think that because I'm only seventeen and still have the rest of my life to live, but the way Harry made me feel is something I know deep down I'll only ever expierence once in my lifetime, and that was with him.

While he's off going on dates with his future wife, I'll probably be lost in thought, thinking of him, and only him to feel something other than the inevitable numbness that will resurface.

That is resurfacing

I'll live the rest of my life out alone, like it was written in the stars since the day I was born.

My thoughts are abruptly interrupted when a tap on my driver's side window vibrates from the side of my head.

I turn to see Miller twiddle his fingers, waving at me connivingly. I roll my eyes, and turn off my car. I grab my phone, and tuck it into the
pocket on the side of my leggings.

I swing my door open, the soles of my shoes crunch against the loose pieces of scattered gravel. I reach into my center console, and grab my claw clip to put my hair up.

"Morning Arlo." He smiles at me, I'm taken aback at the fact that he didn't use my full name. "We have a long day ahead of us."

I hum boardley, locking my car, and stuffing the keys into the pocket of my hoodie. Miller texted me yesterday informing me that I have to prepare for the next drop, plus go over a bunch of shit.

Normally, I would be upset at the fact that I'm missing school for the sole fact that I wouldn't get to see Harry, but right now I'm thankful I have an excuse not to go.